Sacred Masculine Blog

Loving Your Inner Child

Yesterday I was interviewed  for the powerful Illuminated Man Summit which is all about Rites of Passage and authentic masculinity.
The last question that he asked me was one which I have been asked before but for some reason it touched me extra deeply and I found myself momentarily engulfed in a wave of emotion and my eyes teared up.

He asked me::
‘If you could go back into the past and visit the boy Miguel, with what you know now, what would you say to him?’

I don’t recollect everything I said but I know the first thing I said was that I would wrap him up in my man arms and give him a massive bear cuddle and I would tell him that it’s all gonna be just fine.

In the photo above I guess I was about 14 years old. I was dressed up for my part in a drama production called The Dracula Spectacular. I guess I look like an average kind of boy having an average kind of middle class life.
But I know I was extremely nervous, unsure of myself and anxious and scared all the time about the abusive atmosphere at home that pervaded my childhood.
There is something very paradoxical about the sacredness of our personal stories. It is My story which needs owning and honouring and coming to peace with in order to arrive at a place beyond my story where I recognise that the truth of who I am is deeper and untouched by this human story.

I told my interviewer that I would reassure the child Miguel that he has more courage and strength and resources inside himself than he could ever imagine. I would tell him that he was not alone and that he is always Love and Loved. I would tell him that one day he would understand why everything had to happen the way that it did in order to become the man he would become; ready to do the work that he was born to do.
So I am very grateful to the question and being given the opportunity to give a big hug, some tender parenting and reassurance to the little boy who will always reside inside me.

What would you say to your little boy or girl if you could go back (which you can any time) and speak to them?

It’s a powerful exercise.
As in any marriage the successful marriage of the inner divine masculine and feminine is dependent on taking good care of the children! Today is a good day to honour and Love the child within.


‘There is no such thing as a stranger. Just people whose stories we haven’t yet heard.’

As I headed out for my morning walk today I walked past a mother with two toddlers. One was in his push chair and as I walked past he kept shouting ‘Hiya’ to me. I turned round and waved to him and his little voice kept chirping out ‘Hi’ as I walked into the distance.
I was aware that his mother didn’t reprimand him and that it was mutually considered to be cute and acceptable. This led me to wondering at what age children are taught not to talk to strangers. Although I understand the reason behind this advice to young people (health and safety!) it also saddens me that we live in a society where this is the norm.
It seems that the instruction ‘to not talk to strangers’ comes from a place of fear. When we tell our children this we are communicating to them that the world is not a safe place to be. It seems to reinforce the belief that we are not all connected and that other humans are not to be trusted and that they might cause you harm. What would society look like if this fear based belief did not underpin the way young people enter into society independently?
I am fully aware that there are people in the world who are ignorant, unwell and are not to be trusted but to believe that there are so many untrustworthy people out there, that just to be on the safe side it is better not to talk to anyone, seems a bit bizarre. Just imagine how many beautiful encounters may be missed by integrating this fear based belief and carrying it into adult hood and then passing it on to our children.
I find myself talking to strangers more and more these days because I know that we are all connected and if I can offer a little kindness, a little of my time and presence to someone then I feel nourished and in alignment with who I really am.
I believe that the toddler I met this morning was also in alignment with the truth that we are all connected and there is nothing really to fear. Some may call it ignorance but I call it innocence. And I believe that the new world that is arising as the old falls apart will be one where the word ‘stranger’ becomes obsolete.
I just hope that my toddler friend can hold onto his innocence and innate knowing before it becomes too heavily blanketed by fear.






Silk Around Steel

When I was learning Tai Chi my teacher always said that the aim was for me to be as Silk around Steel.
What he meant is that the spine should always be straight and strong with a clear flow down into the earth and up through the head and crown chakra into the heavens. Connection between heaven and earth should always be maintained for optimum health, balance and martial arts potential.
The reason that I share this is that there seems to be a recurring theme in women that I meet who are in their awakening and their feminine is flowing beautifuly but there is a lack of groundedness and connection with their inner steel; ie the inner masculine.

Some women struggle with creating a solid, safe home for themselves and an income so that the security of their home has some longevity.
I know that this post is a huge generalisation, nothing is absolute and each person has different circumstances but never the less I share this here as it is a recurring theme and may be of value to some.
There is often this (totally natural) longing within the feminine to be in a mutually supportive relationship with man so that in part he can take care of some of the steel, that he is naturally wired to do (ie hunting and gathering) putting food on the table, keeping the home safe etc so that she can do what she is more naturally designed for ie. home care, child rearing and flowing in her own beautiful contributions with creativity and love.
But often we men are immersed in our own journeys and the crazy world we live in means that its enough just to keep our own finances and stuff flowing from the reality of ‘I always have more than enough’.
One day it won’t be like this but for now it seems that the task for some women is to work on creating a home and income for themselves. This is the work they have control over, the inner union of their own masculine and feminine, while wishing a man would show up and help shoulder the burden is perhaps not the best use of energy.

This post is about man and woman and the inner and outer masculine and feminine relationship. How can we honour our silk and our steel? Because when we do the dance from this balanced place of union and mutual valuing, like Tai Chi, it becomes a beautiful spectacle and my experience is that the more I live this inner journey the more beautiful my life becomes. <3
What do you need to give energy to? Your Silk or your Steel?


Wow! Intense Energetic Times !

Okay, put your hands up if you have been experiencing some extra weird stuff going on recently?

It seemed to move to a whole new level with the Equinox Full Moon. Wow that was intense! My head was pounding and felt like it was full of pressure, I was freezing cold and had severe nausea in my stomach. And a feeling of fear was present. Not a fear of anything in particular but just fear, like a child being scared of the dark or scared of the unknown.

Since then things have been moving in waves and yesterday there was some serious stuff going on in my root chakra area! Like a gaping void or vortex and sense of expansiveness there. I guess that’s about my letting go of an old form of income that no longer serves and stepping into faith of being supported by the universe in my new ‘work’.

So, yeh…be gentle in these crazy, beautiful, transformational times. I would say get plenty of sleep but that just doesn’t seem to be on the cards these days!
But I am resting when I can, just ticking over and doing what needs to be done. Drinking loads of good water, eating good food, connecting with my soul companions and getting out under the sky on the earth as much as possible.

It doesn’t feel like a war going on for me. It feels more like the dead are being removed from the battlefield! LOL Surrender happened a while ago and yet it is a deepening, ongoing process.

So if things are a bit intense right now, know that you are not alone. All is well and all manner of things shall be well. Stay gentle and blessed.


Yes! Love is a way of Life! 

Are you being undone too? Unraveled? Is there confusion in the mind?
It seems to me that confusion in the mind arises when false and truth meet.
It seems that the old lies, programming, the shackles and chains, the blinkers are falling apart, their grip is loosening and the truth is emerging more and more and because it is so radically different from what we were taught to believe it causes confusion.
We have reached the edged of the map and there is only a blank page now. There is nothing recorded to follow and so we must make the path by placing one foot in front of the other, Integrity, truth, love and kindness are the components of the compass that guide us now. And remembering…we are remembering.

Love is not about a relationship with someone or a select few!
When we realise the Love that we are, we fall in Love with Life itself and everyone and everything becomes sacred; just myriad expressions of the divine.

How we navigate our relationships now is key because the divine masculine and feminine dance is the very fabric of Life itself. Life is relationship, inter-connectivity, interdependence and co creation. We have masculine and feminine within so why not learn to make love with ourselves?!

It seems increasingly to me that what we were taught about love and romantic relationship is just a small piece of the picture and taken out of context may even be false.
When the majority of religion puts so much emphasis on an institution like marriage, which largely seems to be about subjugation, ownership and suppression of the divine feminine surely we should sit up and take note and ask why?
When the majority of religion uses fear to keep us away from the pleasures and ecstasy of communion through the portal of sacred sexuality shouldn’t we again ask why?
Perhaps there is something to be investigated and explored here!

‘There are hundreds of ways to kneel and kiss the ground’ says Rumi and I believe that there are hundreds of ways to make Love with Life itself. Perhaps there are more ways of loving relationship between man and woman than the duality, the polarity of monogamy or celibacy? There is a new way of Life emerging. A new way of Loving. And so the journey into remembering who and what we truly are continues. Journey well. Namaste



Balancing the Masculine and Feminine Within

‘If any human being is to reach full maturity both the masculine and feminine sides of the personality must be brought up into consciousness’. – M. Esther Harding

‘Ultimately, there is no division in life – it is the human mind that likes to label and separate things. The masculine and feminine are therefore two sides of the same coin.’

The state of our inner marriage (twin flame union) is often a good indicator and will mirror the quality of the relationships we have in the world.
The relationships I have with other men reflects to a large extent the relationship and health of my inner masculine which is largely to do with healing father wounds. In the same way I see that as I have healed and transformed my mother wounds and my inner feminine is increasingly healthy and at peace, this is reflected by the relationships and connections with women who show up in my world.

So it’s somewhat simplified but if you are single man and you want a good woman in your life then work on nurturing your inner feminine and when the time is right and your inner work has made good progress a woman will show up as a direct reflection of where you are now in your journey of inner marriage. She will almost certainly be kind enough to show you where there is still work to be done and there is still room for improvement too!
And the same will apply for a single woman that would like to be in a relationship with a man. Look within first…do your work… 🙂

Union within us reflects union in our outer relationships.
And inner balance means that we are deeper into the realms of self actualisation and this means that we are clearer conduits to express and channel and Be and embody Love and Truth, which is most welcome in the world at this powerful time of transformation and creation of a New Earth for ourselves, the children and generations to come.