Freedom, Responsibility, the Journey, Conspiracy Theories and Trauma

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Freedom, Responsibility, the Journey, Conspiracy Theories and Trauma

One of the reasons why I am successful at guiding clients on their journeys is the fact that I can see the bigger picture. When I am at work I am a buzzard riding the warm thermal air. The client can only see clearly a little behind, know the present and entertain some limited scenarios of what the future may look like. But all their vision is undoubtedly affected by the filters their mind applies to the incoming data arriving through their senses and as memories which are affected in this way woven through with old unhealed trauma, unconscious beliefs and story lines that are still alive.

I can see a clearer picture of what is going on because my vision is not being filtered by emotions and the deletions, distortions and generalisations of the mind (this is NLP stuff by the way!). I also look for patterns and congruence or lack of it between their thoughts, words or actions. These patterns grow stronger over time as evidence is accumulated and weighed up with the help of my carefully honed discernment, intuition and by checking out my hunches with the client themselves.

Over a couple of decades I have made my own journey through trauma and back home to a more loving, peaceful and free place within myself. The work continues, it never ends because the journey is the destination. As TS Eliot said:

‘We shall not cease from exploration, and the end of all our exploring will be to arrive where we started and know the place for the first time.’

And in that journey I notice patterns. Things that are repeated by my clients and often by myself too. This has led me to the conclusion that we are all living different versions of the same story.

Basically the story is that the majority (if not all) of us did not have our emotional needs met enough to give us a solid foundation to launch out in the world without neurosis and mental health issues. Put another way, we did not receive enough love. Often this is because our parents were wounded and had little experience of the truth of unconditional love themselves. This dysfunctional, patriarchal society wounds everyone, to varying degrees. In essence we are beings of Love that arrive from a place of Oneness and Love to this cold and harsh experience of duality. So we seek socially accepted (or not so accepted ways) of trying to get our needs met through external validation, wealth or relationships. But our wounded inner child can only be placated temporarily while we try to get externally what we need to learn how to access internally, within ourselves or perhaps by becoming a conduit or channel for source energy, consciousness or divine Love.

One of these patterns or coping strategies, to minimise the impact of childhood trauma that I have noticed throughout this Covid-19 experience, is the correlation between trauma and conspiracy obsession. (Of course it’s tricky to discern what is a conspiracy theory and what is a concealed truth but the truth always reveals itself sooner or later)! I have met many people who are obsessed with conspiracy theories and without fail they also suffered varying degrees of significant trauma at an early age. It seems to me that this pattern or behaviour is an attempt to externalise the inner anger, wounding or pain. When we focus purely on the external world as a solution to our inner angst then we obfuscate our own power and responsibility and ability to shape our sense of well being internally. I am aware that I did this to some extent myself as a young man.

When I left home I was angry at the world because of the abuse and trauma that I had experienced. I was angry with a world in which it was possible for me to be so unloved as an innocent child and I wanted nothing to do with society and the systems that had created my experiences. So I dropped out, lived on the road and became a professional petty criminal, addict and homeless person.

But I couldn’t run from myself for ever and illness and the birth of my son forced me to shift my focus. A series of synchronicities led me to a therapist and the beginning of taking responsibility, taking my power back and making my journey back home to that which I truly am beyond what I was taught to believe about myself in my formative years.

I am not saying that once you have the courage to go into and transform your trauma that all of a sudden the world becomes a perfect place and that you realise that all conspiracy theories are false. My gut tells me that there is much truth in some of the key conspiracy narratives. I am aware of the many lenses through which the Covid 19 situation can be viewed. I am not interested in spiritual bypass but as with most things balance is key. I have found the more that I come home to self love, peace and freedom the less I am emotionally engaged with all the world stage drama. The greatest contribution I can make is to keep exploring, keep healing and helping others to do the same using the map of the divine masculine and feminine.

It’s good to be aware of what is happening in the world but ultimately it’s important that I stay focused on what I have control over and don’t waste energy blaming and pointing the finger at the state of the world. If you suspect that you are unhealthily pre occupied with conspiracy theory it may be time to adjust your focus and look to see if there is something within that you are avoiding looking at while you focus on the world.

The whole, healthy adult knows he / she is responsible for her freedom and happiness. To a large extent it’s an inside job!!

Viktor Frankl was a prisoner in a Nazi concentration camp. In His book Man’s Search For Meaning he reminds us:

“Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.” ― Viktor E. Frankl.

Regardless of what Is happening in the world,don’t be in denial but choose where you put your attention and your energy. What energy are you giving to what? Does it arise from love or fear?

If Frankl can find freedom in a concentration camp then I believe I can attain freedom within the constraints of this crazy world that, for now, is my home.

And if I can…so can you.

Love and blessings on your journey…

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