Tag - transformation

Walking With Fear

Yes, I feel your presence my old friend, your unsought company prevails despite my requests to walk this path alone. Perhaps you know best?

For a while now you have no longer led, you no longer walk beside me but instead linger in the shadows bringing up the rear. When I glance over my shoulder I can see the echo of your icy presence, where you stood moments before as you weave your illusive dance, slinking behind tree and rock. Come out, come and join me once more.

It seemed at times, that you would always walk this road with me and that I should resign myself to your company but now we both know this is not true.  But how can I abandon you when I know you have served me so well?

When I see how you have only accentuated the light by the contrast of your heavy greyness that obscured my vision at times.  And I knew that those were the times when I would do best to halt my progress, to pause the trudge of my weary footsteps and sit a while with you.

On those long nights you insisted that I should not light a fire to warm my bones but that together we should huddle under your blanket of not knowing and shiver and tremble a little. I see the value now of your hard wisdom but now we travel through new lands. You made a poor master but you are a servant of worth. You keep me nimble, on my toes and when the night closes in you remind me to keep feeding the fire that is so welcome after so many moons without.

Yes, those endless haunted nights are now long past and the flickering, dancing flames of peace and wisdom now soothe and nurture this body. All darkness is incomplete, now that the fire of truth burns strong at my centre and I see the way ahead lit by the soft orange glow from my eyes.

And this seeing reveals the silhouette of the mountain in the distance. Yes, there is another winding ascent to walk and I invite you to join me. I know of your concern for me and your desire to keep your watchful eye on me.

You are welcome for you and I are old friends and perhaps we have this one last adventure to share.

We will climb this mountain together, come close now, there is no need to slink in the shadows any longer. Come take my hand in yours and let the glow of my loving touch warm you.  Let us walk together this stretch of the road for we both know that as we reach this summit, our time together will be at an end.

As the dawn breaks and the fullness of light returns I know that you will be scared and uneasy but know that you are safe with me and that our parting will be a blessing for you know too that our friendship has run its course, our time together is at an end and there are new beginnings that await us and you have other souls to serve.

So come now, for the Mountain of Union is inviting and daunting and I have no choice but to yield to the pull. We can share stories together as we travel to pass the time for we both know that this road has been paved with stories, rich stories of dragons and warriors and lost and found and light and dark. We will share these tales one more time for we both know that the time of duality is fast reaching its end.

Your company is welcome old friend and my destiny beckons loudly now, the call of the circling buzzard above the mountain’s crown, echoes down the valley. Let us walk in to this one last story together. Be my chaperone and see me safely to the waking of this dream.

And when we reach the summit we will go our separate ways. I will watch you as you make your solitary way back down the road until you are a speck in the distance and I will turn and look ahead to see the new peaks and adventures that will surely lay ahead.

 

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Musings of the Sacred Masculine

Apparently the human eye can only see between 430-770 THz. Our ears can only detect sound between 20 Hz – 20kHz. These ranges make up a fraction of the total light and sound frequency range. So it begs the question: what else is going on that is beyond what we can perceive with our senses?
If you need evidence consider how a dog can smell stuff we can’t smell, a black-bird can hear worms under the ground that we can’t hear, a buzzard can see a mouse on the ground that we can’t see, a dog can sense when someone is about to have a seizure, birds follow magnetic migratory highways that we can not perceive etc. etc.
Once we understand that we are massively limited by the confines of our amazing and yet limited senses we can begin to open our awareness and have a glimpse into the vast unknown magic and mystery of Life. Once we consider that what we can perceive with our tiny puddle minds is just a drop of water in the ocean of possibility and that beyond the doors of our perception lies an infinite, vast, ocean; then things begin to get really interesting and everything becomes possible.
Live from this place. Live from this possibility and allow the possibility to permeate deeply into the centre of your being. It helps to relax our grip on what we perceive as reality. The ego wants to know, it needs to be sure of stuff so our egoic minds insist that we must know, things must be definite. Let go of the need to know and the ego looses it’s grip. Transcend the mind. Allow yourself to be confused and in the not knowing. It’s such a beautiful place to be when we surrender the need to have it all worked out. Drop into The Mystery.

Create your stories that help give meaning and purpose to your life but be open to the possibility that they are just stories and that we can write and create and imagine new stories whenever we like. Ask yourself what other magic is possible?
Maybe we don’t need to understand anything but just drop deeper into the heart and feel our way one breath at a time, deeper and deeper into the beauty, the love, the craziness, the pain, the sacredness of this fleeting human experience. 
May your day be full of honest confusion and a sweet lack of understanding!!
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Do you really want Love, Peace, Freedom?

Perhaps most new age folk don’t really want freedom, love, peace.  Perhaps most people who claim that they do are just playing a game.  It’s a game of pretending to be committed to ascension or enlightenment.  And who can blame them it’s a fascinating game, with so many options and alternatives and variations.  You are guaranteed to never get bored because there are so many levels and paths and landscapes to explore and discover. I need to start this practise, or to go on this retreat, or read this book, or start this diet or see this therapist or healer or do this meditation, or visit this sacred site.  It’s perfect for the ego because there is always another activity or paradox or perspective from which to hide from your true Self, to hide from the Truth.  It’s the ultimate virtual reality game co created with your personal egoic design team. And there is nothing wrong with that.

Anyway we all know the answer to the riddle is Now, being in the present…but achieving this consistently seems to be tricky!

So it seems to me that it’s handy to remember that there is a difference between the map that we create to make sense of the world and our lives and The Reality.  What is Reality?  It seems to me that the closest I can get to understanding Reality is probably what masters and religions, at their core, all speak of and agree on and point to in their different ways.  Added to these ancient timeless teachings maybe we throw in a little bit of 21st century context and magic to update Reality.

Perhaps we would do well to loosen our grip on our beliefs and our knowing that ‘THIS is how it is.’  ‘I have got it figured out’. And yet are we free?  Are we at peace the majority of the time?  To what extent have we experienced the multi dimensional layers and facets of being a divine being that are who and what we (apparently) really are?

And yes it may seem that I too have my version of reality, of truth.  It’s based on 22 years of experiential inquiry but admittedly it may be another ego trip too, but it keeps me entertained!

Ask your self these two questions:

What are my blind spots?

Where am I deluding myself?

I think they are beautiful questions!!  We can’t answer them with our egoic minds because our egoic mind is heavily invested in hiding these truths from us.  In my experience feedback from Life is a great teacher and truth detector and sometimes the assistance of a Seer helps too. We don’t have to do all this journey alone.  I don’t think that was the original plan.  But we have to get vulnerable and real to expose the fact that we are lost and need help. Yes there is a place for therapists and healers but we need to discern whether they will give us Truth or whether they are there to add validity and content to the game we are playing of pretending to want liberation.  The acid test for me is always in the story of their life.  Do they walk their talk?  Have they been to the dark places and returned to the light?  Are they Being the change they speak of?  Actions speak louder than words!

So that’s what came through for me to share today.  Something a bit different I guess but I think it’s helpful to challenge our beliefs and perspectives sometimes even if it can be uncomfortable. And feeling uncomfortable just may the clue that we are onto something!

Most who read these words will probably filter it through the egoic mind anyway and it will be distorted and twisted and the intention of these words may not even get through!

So why did I write it in the first place? More dopamine?! Shit!! I need to get off this computer and get outside! 😉

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Interconnectivity, Giving and Receiving

In the realm of the mind and of the five senses everything is separate and there is disconnection and there is a you and a me. This is true.

But beyond the mind and beyond the senses everything is connected, energy is vibrating at different frequencies that our 3D senses are not fine enough to discern, which makes more sense of the saying ‘as I do unto others I do to myself.’ There is only One. No more you and me. Only the I AM presence. This is also true.

I like to think of humanity as a human body. Every person and every thing on this planet makes up the complete body of humanity and each individual person is like an individual atom that makes up the whole. All those cells and atoms in our bodies are carrying on their business apparently unaware of other cells in far distant realms of the body. And yet there is a symbiosis an interdependence which takes place perhaps through the grace of consciousness that ensures that, when we are in good health, everything runs smoothly. What a miracle. The same happens in the world in that people in distant lands are responsible for decisions that affect us, clothes, food and much more that impacts on our experiences. What happens on the other side of the world affects us. This is easily seen with weather patterns but as we live from the heart we notice that like the weather, another’s suffering becomes our suffering and another’s joy is felt as our joy. This is why when we return to the heart we cannot sit idly by and allow injustice to happen. We are called to find our way to contribute to making a more beautiful world because we can’t not do this.

The cells in my toe nail do what they need to do so that they create afunctional toe nail that grows and the cells in my eyes do what they need to, to ensure that I can see. But if my toe nail is broken there may be pain and this will affect my vision and perception of my reality and if my eye is damaged I may stub my toe nail. A more extreme example may be that if we have cancer in our throat it is not happening in isolation. It affects the balance and the environment of the whole body/mind/emotions/spirit. Everything is connected and yet there is sometimes only an awareness of this when the system breaks down.

I guess it is living with awareness that helps us remember that everything is connected and our presence constantly reminds us of the miracle and interconnectedness of life. When we arrive at this place we no longer need pain to encourage us to stay in alignment with our true nature, which is love and truth.

When we honour another we honour ourselves. Giving and receiving are really one and the same thing and yet we live in this physical realm of duality. So it is wise to find the balance of giving and receiving in life until by grace we transcend this mind construct.

Christ reminds us that in relation to others, in conscious relationship, of how when we receive, we can do the other a great service by allowing them to give. He was a great giver but he knew that everything is connected and that in receiving Mary (or Ruth’s) act of love he was honouring this universal law and that when we give or receive we strive to do so unconditionally.  This practise purifies our hearts.

Giving, receiving and honouring the interconnectivity of Life….another beautiful dance to be enjoyed while we are here in these human forms. Enjoy the dance…

 

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Precious Ruby Encounter

Yesterday I was making my daily pilgrimage with my Hills when I came upon two sisters praying in one of my favourite spots.
They prayed out loud and were quite animated at times, waving their arms and I heard the words God and Jehovah. I assume that they were of a christian denomination of some kind.
I stood behind at a distance and smiled at the sacredness of the moment as the three of us were some how connected in deep reverence and humility at the miracle and bigness of Life.

When they came to silence I approached them and we spoke a little. Their names were Ruby and Precious. How beautiful.
They said they had come from about 50 miles away and came quite regularly because they felt that these were holy hills. I told them that I felt the same about the hills and that is why I spend time with them most days. Walking them is a prayer, when I remember to be present, each footstep a kiss of gratitude to The Great Mother.

They invited me to join them in prayer and asked me what I wanted them to pray for. I told them that my only prayer was for the return of love and peace and heaven on earth. They prayed out loud and tears fell down Ruby’s cheeks. I just looked on in silence and marveled at the sweetness of the moment and our fleeting connection in such a special setting.

We shared a few more words after and then I asked them each for a hug. We shared some hugs and then I took my leave.
Maybe we will meet again. Maybe not.
Some might call our meeting a coincidence, others synchronicity, others a sacred moment. But I know what I know in my heart.

I love my Hills and all the magic moments that I experience with them.

Love and blessings to Ruby and Precious wherever they are.

‘All is well and all manner of things shall be well.’ Blessed Be.

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On Tender, Loving, Vulnerability and Transformation

Let me make it clear that I share what I share because I believe and know of the power in vulnerability. I am well, I am strong, I am blessed, I am exactly where I need to be, experiencing exactly what is needed in service of my own transformation and that of the collective. I do not need or seek sympathy. I share because I feel it is important to share the whole of me, the whole of the ascension process, the messy bits and the bits that bring shame or lack of self worth to the surface to be released and transformed and dissolved. I share so that others who are finding their journey challenging may find solace in knowing that they are not alone. Too often we just want to share the ‘success’ the shiny end result, the victory. We forget to share the process that may guide and inspire others, we forget to share the perceived failures and the times when we are on our knees and crawling out of bed in the morning takes a super human will. It is the journey that IS the destination and so I feel it is important to share all aspects of my journey in the hope that others may find strength and resilience and faith when each are needed.

And having said all this, if everything is flowing and easy in your journey, then that’s awesome. Suffering and challenge is not to be put on a pedestal. It doesn’t mean that if you are not suffering that you are not growing. Suffering is old paradigm stuff and I believe that it is on the way out because with a new higher, deeper consciousness we don’t need suffering. We can learn from Love and joy and bliss too when we are awake enough to not need the motivation of unnecessary pain for change. Pain is inevitable as part of this current human experience but suffering is optional right NOW. Who knows what the future holds in relation to this.

Right now Life is an amazing blend for me. I feel so blessed and grateful for this Life and where I am on my journey, I am so bathed in Love and compassion and Divine Feminine tenderness and this Love is releasing and displacing the last remnants of fear that reside in my heart. As this fear is displaced I am feeling it in the form of emotions like low self worth and shame and a kind of uncleanness. And I know it is just the old leaving. As it passes through my physical body it causes discomfort. My skin feels uncomfortable, sleep is limited and there are aches and pains and strange sensations particularly in the right (masculine) side of my body. Headaches that are so unusual for me are more common and I am being asked to really honour my body. Today I have a massage booked!

The body and emotional stuff brings some challenges when there are things that need attending to, even though I feel at times I would just like to hibernate in my man cave for the winter!! It is just stuff passing through. It is part of my journey to freedom on all levels. I have taken steps to alleviate the process as best as possible and a large dose of surrender medicine is being swallowed too!

Lots of tenderness and lots of self care is needed at these times when the energy seems to be accelerating our metamorphosis massively.
Be in nature, feet on the earth and head in the sky.
Being with our tribe and being connected with those who we love and are loved by. Whatever we feel, it is personal to some extent but remember it is also humanity’s ‘stuff’ that we are clearing. A whole lineage of clearing is not for the feint of heart!

I believe that tender, loving, vulnerability facilitate transformation. .
All is well and all manner of things shall be well.

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