Tag - transformation

Time To Shine

As we draw closer and closer to midsummer Solstice when the sun is at its zenith I am reminded that now is a good time to shine. Now is a time of action, a time when right action that arises from a place of love, from deep within and through, is being asked of us. We are asked to stop playing small and to step up into and be the light, to speak and be our truth so that we might illuminate the way for others who are stirring from their slumber and are ready and willing to do their work, to go to the dark places within to transform their shadows into the light.

As I drop deeper and deeper into the cycles of Mother nature the rhythm of my life becomes the rhythm of Life itself. The past winter months invited me into the depths of the fecund earth within and there was a deep cleansing and sifting and excavating that was done. From this work of the sacred masculine, arose a rich array of poems and prose pieces, the uncut diamonds dug from the deep that I polished and honed until I was ready for them to see the light of day.  And the best gift of this labour is an increasing sense of peace and knowing that I am comfortable and at home in this human skin…for now!

And as the spring months crept in to reveal the birthing of nature’s bounty all around, the momentum of my doing began also to increase.  At the bequest of forces beyond me I was beckoned to up my game and step more fully into the arena of service and contribution.  At first there was a sense of overwhelm and the familiar voice of my inner critic moaned and complained and protested; but when we know that we cannot not do what Life is asking of us we push through the challenging terrain of not knowing and uncertainty, checking in regularly with our honed discernment that our doing has not become another subtle form of self avoidance.   With our internal compass of integrity and self care we put one foot in front of the other as we make this new unique path over virgin ground so that others may follow if they choose.

In the midst of our doing we remember to stop and honour the wisdom of balance and we take stock of our journey, looking back down the path with gratitude for every challenge and obstacle that barred our way temporarily so that we would realise the fullness of our determination, our power and our sense that this path is the one we were destined to travel.

Now is a good time to shine and we know that the brighter the light shines the clearer the shadows become.  Not everyone will welcome our brightness as our beams may illuminate aspects of themselves that they had invested much time and energy in burying! As Marianne Williamson once said: ‘If when you speak, all you are getting is applause, then you are probably not saying the right things.’  Not everyone is comfortable with bright light and over anxious egos will insist that their way is the only ‘right’ way.  And still we keep on shining.  When the wind blows, the fire’s flame may be temporarily diminished but we have a choice to let our light be extinguished or whether this wind will fan our flames to remind us that our light emanates from a glowing ember of love that cannot easily be extinguished. We are reminded that all our lives have been preparing us to do this shining work.  The taunts of ‘Who me?’ and ‘Who do you think you are?’ are welcome companions to ensure our humility and authenticity but they no longer dim our light.

As we make our way towards Summer Solstice I deepen the embrace of  this doing and I know that the darker seasons of autumn and winter will soon enough be with me to go within and mine more treasures to be shared with my tribe. But for now it is a time of celebration and joyous work and coming together and dancing and singing and being alive together under the vastness of the sky on this sacred garden planet. Summer storms and rain will inevitably come and go. But right now, this very moment close your eyes with me, as Life breathes you in and breathes you out, remember, feel it, and know, that now is a good time to shine…

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What If?

What if down is really up and up is really down?

What if this obsession with happiness leads to sadness?

What if technology has nothing to do with giving us freedom and is really about keeping us monitored, subservient, entertained and distracted?

What if this freedom is slavery with invisible shackles?

What if the news hides from us that which we once knew?

What if the truth is hiding in plain sight?

What if some terrorists are really freedom fighters and soldiers are really paid assassins whose destruction leads to huge government contracts for their associates to get rich from, while rebuilding that which they destroyed?

What if schools really have nothing to do with learning and education but are really all about making us obedient and compliant and that the journey to freedom is unlearning that which was imposed upon us in our tender, absorbent, childlike state?

What if children are really our teachers to show us, remind us of what is important?

What if ‘to live outside the law you must be honest’ and to live within the law you must agree to give up your sovereignty and moral compass?

What if prisons are full of people who need help, kindness and compassion and are victims of a mental disease which is the result of an uncaring, cold, insane society?

What if the police are not here for our protection and safety but to protect those who play the music of the pied piper and lead us in our blind trance like dance, closer and closer towards the cliff edge?

What if mental hospitals hide and imprison people who see glimpses of truth and the insane wear suits and carry brief cases and get rewarded for their insanity with fat pay cheques and status and power?

What if medicine and pharmaceuticals have got little or nothing to do with health?

What if priests are really our jailers whose keys and locks keep us from the truth that we are all sparks of the divine; that we need no intermediary for we are already that which we seek?

What if religion has nothing to do with god?

What if what I have been taught that I am is that which I am not?

What if tenderness, vulnerability and self-care are not really weaknesses but are selfless acts of strength and courage?

What if I am losing my memory in order to re-member everything?

What if the lies in the darkness are finally being revealed in the light of truth?

What if the end they call death is really the beginning?

What if the veil of illusion is growing thinner?

‘What if non are more hopelessly enslaved than those who believe they they are free?’

What if you are awakening from a dream and while reading these words you feel a pang of resonance deep inside your being and you don’t fall back to sleep?

What if it is time to wake up?

 

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Yesterday I Fell…

…the challenges had been coming too quick and fast and I didn’t have enough time to regroup and centre myself. I forgot about me and tried to carry too much.  The fear touched some tender scars and the discomfort in my body clouded my vision and I lost sight of who I really am. My little boy got scared and the man was a little too hard on him.

Yesterday I fell, I held space for those who I was responsible for as best as I could and gave my best knowing that it was good enough. In the giving I received and I was reminded of my worth. It needed to be a gentle day. Everything that was not immediately necessary was put on hold while I rested in my falling, while I viewed everything from my new vantage point in the corner of my world with my arms hugging my tucked up knees and my head bowed.  I rocked myself gently.

Yesterday I fell and yet my friend phoned asking if now was a good time to call. And I replied that the timing was perfect and I gave thanks for the beauty of friends and connection and I spoke my truth from a tender vulnerable place inside me. And I missed him when he was gone.

Yesterday I fell and still I moved around the grey alien landscape of the supermarket buying groceries that would be needed for the imminent arrival of my son so that there would be wholesome sustenance for both of us. I moved around the distant world getting stuff done and the shapes of people were unaware that I had fallen.

Yesterday I fell and still my soul heard the call and my heavy legs walked the sanctuary of my hills, plodding my way up to the summit and turning to face the sun that appeared momentarily from behind the thick, mottled clouds. I lay and allowed my body to be held by the earth and I breathed it all in and breathed it all out allowing the sun’s rays into my wide open mouth and then gulped and swallowed lungs full of sunshine into me.

Yesterday I fell and so I took myself to bed early and snuggled myself under the comfort of my warm soft covers and felt my fallen-ness. I felt the heavy sensations in my tired body and with my mind I caressed my weariness.

Yesterday I fell and today I awake to the sound of rain outside my open window. The clouds have broken and let fall their cleansing drops and the air feels fresher and lighter again. There was not a spectacular sunrise to be seen today but never the less a new day has dawned.  My tender heart reminds me to go gently for today I rise again. Today is a new day and today I rise and I am at peace knowing that ‘all is well and all manner of things shall be well,’ in spite of the fact and partly because…yesterday I fell.

 

 

 

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Walking With Fear

Yes, I feel your presence my old friend, your unsought company prevails despite my requests to walk this path alone. Perhaps you know best?

For a while now you have no longer led, you no longer walk beside me but instead linger in the shadows bringing up the rear. When I glance over my shoulder I can see the echo of your icy presence, where you stood moments before as you weave your illusive dance, slinking behind tree and rock. Come out, come and join me once more.

It seemed at times, that you would always walk this road with me and that I should resign myself to your company but now we both know this is not true.  But how can I abandon you when I know you have served me so well?

When I see how you have only accentuated the light by the contrast of your heavy greyness that obscured my vision at times.  And I knew that those were the times when I would do best to halt my progress, to pause the trudge of my weary footsteps and sit a while with you.

On those long nights you insisted that I should not light a fire to warm my bones but that together we should huddle under your blanket of not knowing and shiver and tremble a little. I see the value now of your hard wisdom but now we travel through new lands. You made a poor master but you are a servant of worth. You keep me nimble, on my toes and when the night closes in you remind me to keep feeding the fire that is so welcome after so many moons without.

Yes, those endless haunted nights are now long past and the flickering, dancing flames of peace and wisdom now soothe and nurture this body. All darkness is incomplete, now that the fire of truth burns strong at my centre and I see the way ahead lit by the soft orange glow from my eyes.

And this seeing reveals the silhouette of the mountain in the distance. Yes, there is another winding ascent to walk and I invite you to join me. I know of your concern for me and your desire to keep your watchful eye on me.

You are welcome for you and I are old friends and perhaps we have this one last adventure to share.

We will climb this mountain together, come close now, there is no need to slink in the shadows any longer. Come take my hand in yours and let the glow of my loving touch warm you.  Let us walk together this stretch of the road for we both know that as we reach this summit, our time together will be at an end.

As the dawn breaks and the fullness of light returns I know that you will be scared and uneasy but know that you are safe with me and that our parting will be a blessing for you know too that our friendship has run its course, our time together is at an end and there are new beginnings that await us and you have other souls to serve.

So come now, for the Mountain of Union is inviting and daunting and I have no choice but to yield to the pull. We can share stories together as we travel to pass the time for we both know that this road has been paved with stories, rich stories of dragons and warriors and lost and found and light and dark. We will share these tales one more time for we both know that the time of duality is fast reaching its end.

Your company is welcome old friend and my destiny beckons loudly now, the call of the circling buzzard above the mountain’s crown, echoes down the valley. Let us walk in to this one last story together. Be my chaperone and see me safely to the waking of this dream.

And when we reach the summit we will go our separate ways. I will watch you as you make your solitary way back down the road until you are a speck in the distance and I will turn and look ahead to see the new peaks and adventures that will surely lay ahead.

 

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Musings of the Sacred Masculine

Apparently the human eye can only see between 430-770 THz. Our ears can only detect sound between 20 Hz – 20kHz. These ranges make up a fraction of the total light and sound frequency range. So it begs the question: what else is going on that is beyond what we can perceive with our senses?
If you need evidence consider how a dog can smell stuff we can’t smell, a black-bird can hear worms under the ground that we can’t hear, a buzzard can see a mouse on the ground that we can’t see, a dog can sense when someone is about to have a seizure, birds follow magnetic migratory highways that we can not perceive etc. etc.
Once we understand that we are massively limited by the confines of our amazing and yet limited senses we can begin to open our awareness and have a glimpse into the vast unknown magic and mystery of Life. Once we consider that what we can perceive with our tiny puddle minds is just a drop of water in the ocean of possibility and that beyond the doors of our perception lies an infinite, vast, ocean; then things begin to get really interesting and everything becomes possible.
Live from this place. Live from this possibility and allow the possibility to permeate deeply into the centre of your being. It helps to relax our grip on what we perceive as reality. The ego wants to know, it needs to be sure of stuff so our egoic minds insist that we must know, things must be definite. Let go of the need to know and the ego looses it’s grip. Transcend the mind. Allow yourself to be confused and in the not knowing. It’s such a beautiful place to be when we surrender the need to have it all worked out. Drop into The Mystery.

Create your stories that help give meaning and purpose to your life but be open to the possibility that they are just stories and that we can write and create and imagine new stories whenever we like. Ask yourself what other magic is possible?
Maybe we don’t need to understand anything but just drop deeper into the heart and feel our way one breath at a time, deeper and deeper into the beauty, the love, the craziness, the pain, the sacredness of this fleeting human experience. 
May your day be full of honest confusion and a sweet lack of understanding!!
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Do you really want Love, Peace, Freedom?

Perhaps most new age folk don’t really want freedom, love, peace.  Perhaps most people who claim that they do are just playing a game.  It’s a game of pretending to be committed to ascension or enlightenment.  And who can blame them it’s a fascinating game, with so many options and alternatives and variations.  You are guaranteed to never get bored because there are so many levels and paths and landscapes to explore and discover. I need to start this practise, or to go on this retreat, or read this book, or start this diet or see this therapist or healer or do this meditation, or visit this sacred site.  It’s perfect for the ego because there is always another activity or paradox or perspective from which to hide from your true Self, to hide from the Truth.  It’s the ultimate virtual reality game co created with your personal egoic design team. And there is nothing wrong with that.

Anyway we all know the answer to the riddle is Now, being in the present…but achieving this consistently seems to be tricky!

So it seems to me that it’s handy to remember that there is a difference between the map that we create to make sense of the world and our lives and The Reality.  What is Reality?  It seems to me that the closest I can get to understanding Reality is probably what masters and religions, at their core, all speak of and agree on and point to in their different ways.  Added to these ancient timeless teachings maybe we throw in a little bit of 21st century context and magic to update Reality.

Perhaps we would do well to loosen our grip on our beliefs and our knowing that ‘THIS is how it is.’  ‘I have got it figured out’. And yet are we free?  Are we at peace the majority of the time?  To what extent have we experienced the multi dimensional layers and facets of being a divine being that are who and what we (apparently) really are?

And yes it may seem that I too have my version of reality, of truth.  It’s based on 22 years of experiential inquiry but admittedly it may be another ego trip too, but it keeps me entertained!

Ask your self these two questions:

What are my blind spots?

Where am I deluding myself?

I think they are beautiful questions!!  We can’t answer them with our egoic minds because our egoic mind is heavily invested in hiding these truths from us.  In my experience feedback from Life is a great teacher and truth detector and sometimes the assistance of a Seer helps too. We don’t have to do all this journey alone.  I don’t think that was the original plan.  But we have to get vulnerable and real to expose the fact that we are lost and need help. Yes there is a place for therapists and healers but we need to discern whether they will give us Truth or whether they are there to add validity and content to the game we are playing of pretending to want liberation.  The acid test for me is always in the story of their life.  Do they walk their talk?  Have they been to the dark places and returned to the light?  Are they Being the change they speak of?  Actions speak louder than words!

So that’s what came through for me to share today.  Something a bit different I guess but I think it’s helpful to challenge our beliefs and perspectives sometimes even if it can be uncomfortable. And feeling uncomfortable just may the clue that we are onto something!

Most who read these words will probably filter it through the egoic mind anyway and it will be distorted and twisted and the intention of these words may not even get through!

So why did I write it in the first place? More dopamine?! Shit!! I need to get off this computer and get outside! 😉

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