Sometimes…

Sometimes…

Sometimes it’s a chocolate and Netflix and biscuits and duvet or too many cigarettes sort of day.

We allow ourselves the luxury of not being the positive, proactive person that we were taught was the only sort of person that was worthy of love.

We allow ourselves to softly and tenderly accept the invitation to sink into our lazy, sadness and pull a warm velvet blanket of deep rest around our weary hearts.

We don’t always have to be shiny and bright and clear.

We allow ourselves to be a murky, clouded sky and let the gentle drops of release fall from our tired eyes.

Every cycle has it’s autumn, its time of falling leaves, it’s time of nakedness and vulnerability, its time of energy sinking down, down, down into the roots of being where it feels as if it will be gone for ever.

This embracing of our humanness is what is being asked of us right now.

We no longer need to fight it. No more shall we give ourselves a hard time for having a hard time.

We have stood alone and fought bravely for so long.  Now is the time to lay down our weapons for this is the new courage that is being asked of us;  the courage to be soft and kind with ourselves.

Can we surrender to this grey landscape?

Can we hold ourselves tenderly and compassionately?

Can we still love and honour our beauty even when the person we see in the mirror is not who we thought we should be?

Can we still have faith that everything is happening for the simple reason that it is time to shed more layers of who we thought we were?

Can we fully realise that this melancholy and weariness is an essential part of our journey home to wholeness?

Can we still trust even when those who said they would stand beside us are lost in the maze of their own desperate attempts to find love?

Sometimes it’s a chocolate and Netflix and biscuits and duvet or too many cigarettes sort of day.

And this too shall pass; but for now we rest and know that the wheel of life is turning as we master this new courage and when the purging is done, we shall rise again.

And say to ourselves with a new voice, with a depth and conviction not felt before:  ‘I Love you’.

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