Tag - social change

The Sacred Dance of the Feminine and Masculine

There has been a lot to do recently. A never ending ‘to do’ list that phones me, messages me, emails me and arrives through my letter box.

We live in a world where the masculine energy of ‘doing’ is put on a pedestal.  Where action is revered and venerated, often on the altar of avoiding oneself.

‘Are you keeping busy?’  People ask. ‘I am doing my best not to.’ I answer.

The blind, distorted unconscious ‘doing’ is the energy of the lost masculine patriarchy.  But some doing is better than other doing!  We would do well to discern and know when our doing is just part of an addiction playing out and when it is an expression of our love, when our doing arises from the depths of our being, when we can’t not do it, when we have no choice but to put love into action.

In many ways we have done a thorough job of keeping busy in our search for love and happiness in the consuming of material stuff, entertainment, addiction and power over others; we have worked very hard inflicting suffering on each other, sentient beings and the planet.   Inside the hearts of humanity there is an insatiable poverty and longing for intimacy, connection and homecoming that can only be avoided by movement and can only be experienced by stillness, by receptivity, by surrender. This feminine energy of stillness in which expansion occurs has been denigrated and it is time for the balance to be restored.

It is time for humanity and each of us to make that epic journey from the head back home to the heart. It is time to have the courage to feel again. To feel all that was denied and supressed and to feel the joy and bliss and gratitude for this miraculous human experience of flesh and senses and emotions that we have been gifted. It is time to rest in the not knowing, in the uncertain, in the mist of confusion and deepen our faith that when the time is right the way forward shall be revealed because our minds cannot begin to comprehend what is really going on!

Yin and yang, ‘both light and shadow are the dance of life’. When there is imbalance between the masculine and feminine energy of creation there will be suffering. This imbalance is reflected in the disharmony between men and women. The mistrust, abuse, generations of pain live in all of our hearts and bodies and until this work is done there will not be peace on this earth.

It is time to unlearn everything that we were taught. The story of our world that has permeated our bodies is not the full story. We splash about in a small puddle of options unaware that that beyond the veil of doing and  busy-ness and not feeling, lies an infinite ocean of possibility accessed through presence.

The feminine, yin energy wants to be embodied inside us. Do what you need to do, but remember to value the spaces, the emptiness, the resting. Action that does not arise from the still, pure, clarity of a feeling heart may not be always be the best way to spend your precious time here in this incarnation.  Get back in flow with the cycles and flow of natur, for that is the true rhythm of life.

Make time to feel and grieve and shed your tears if that is what is needed. This is what may arise in this spacious place initially.  There is no need to do this alone, share with your brothers and sisters because they feel it too. There is no shame in lamenting that which was lost and this actually is a necessary precursor to coming home. Feeling the grief of the world means you are coming home and this feeling will be replaced by active hope. When you feel the depth of our lostness you can’t help but take action knowing that small things consistently done by many, will inevitably result in massive changes.  The results may not be seen in our human lifetime, but so what?  Do you only want happiness for your children while you are alive or do you wish them the best for all of their days?

Beneath the ocean of our collective sadness I believe there is a labyrinth of crystal caves that lead us to worlds and realities that our minds cannot begin to comprehend.

Remember to honour the spaces. This sacred dance of masculine and feminine energy, of man and woman is key to our homecoming. It is time to for union. Time to recognise fully the mutual value of yin and yang which are complimentary opposite and also present within each other.

A symphony of musical notes played by the greatest orchestra would just be a cacophony of noise if it were not for the spaces between the notes.  A note and a space, another note and another space.

Perhaps this dance of yin and yang, the divine union of the masculine and feminine is essentially the dance of Life itself?

What can we do but keep dancing our dance?  What can we be but keep being the dance?

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Do you really want Love, Peace, Freedom?

Perhaps most new age folk don’t really want freedom, love, peace.  Perhaps most people who claim that they do are just playing a game.  It’s a game of pretending to be committed to ascension or enlightenment.  And who can blame them it’s a fascinating game, with so many options and alternatives and variations.  You are guaranteed to never get bored because there are so many levels and paths and landscapes to explore and discover. I need to start this practise, or to go on this retreat, or read this book, or start this diet or see this therapist or healer or do this meditation, or visit this sacred site.  It’s perfect for the ego because there is always another activity or paradox or perspective from which to hide from your true Self, to hide from the Truth.  It’s the ultimate virtual reality game co created with your personal egoic design team. And there is nothing wrong with that.

Anyway we all know the answer to the riddle is Now, being in the present…but achieving this consistently seems to be tricky!

So it seems to me that it’s handy to remember that there is a difference between the map that we create to make sense of the world and our lives and The Reality.  What is Reality?  It seems to me that the closest I can get to understanding Reality is probably what masters and religions, at their core, all speak of and agree on and point to in their different ways.  Added to these ancient timeless teachings maybe we throw in a little bit of 21st century context and magic to update Reality.

Perhaps we would do well to loosen our grip on our beliefs and our knowing that ‘THIS is how it is.’  ‘I have got it figured out’. And yet are we free?  Are we at peace the majority of the time?  To what extent have we experienced the multi dimensional layers and facets of being a divine being that are who and what we (apparently) really are?

And yes it may seem that I too have my version of reality, of truth.  It’s based on 22 years of experiential inquiry but admittedly it may be another ego trip too, but it keeps me entertained!

Ask your self these two questions:

What are my blind spots?

Where am I deluding myself?

I think they are beautiful questions!!  We can’t answer them with our egoic minds because our egoic mind is heavily invested in hiding these truths from us.  In my experience feedback from Life is a great teacher and truth detector and sometimes the assistance of a Seer helps too. We don’t have to do all this journey alone.  I don’t think that was the original plan.  But we have to get vulnerable and real to expose the fact that we are lost and need help. Yes there is a place for therapists and healers but we need to discern whether they will give us Truth or whether they are there to add validity and content to the game we are playing of pretending to want liberation.  The acid test for me is always in the story of their life.  Do they walk their talk?  Have they been to the dark places and returned to the light?  Are they Being the change they speak of?  Actions speak louder than words!

So that’s what came through for me to share today.  Something a bit different I guess but I think it’s helpful to challenge our beliefs and perspectives sometimes even if it can be uncomfortable. And feeling uncomfortable just may the clue that we are onto something!

Most who read these words will probably filter it through the egoic mind anyway and it will be distorted and twisted and the intention of these words may not even get through!

So why did I write it in the first place? More dopamine?! Shit!! I need to get off this computer and get outside! 😉

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Precious Ruby Encounter

Yesterday I was making my daily pilgrimage with my Hills when I came upon two sisters praying in one of my favourite spots.
They prayed out loud and were quite animated at times, waving their arms and I heard the words God and Jehovah. I assume that they were of a christian denomination of some kind.
I stood behind at a distance and smiled at the sacredness of the moment as the three of us were some how connected in deep reverence and humility at the miracle and bigness of Life.

When they came to silence I approached them and we spoke a little. Their names were Ruby and Precious. How beautiful.
They said they had come from about 50 miles away and came quite regularly because they felt that these were holy hills. I told them that I felt the same about the hills and that is why I spend time with them most days. Walking them is a prayer, when I remember to be present, each footstep a kiss of gratitude to The Great Mother.

They invited me to join them in prayer and asked me what I wanted them to pray for. I told them that my only prayer was for the return of love and peace and heaven on earth. They prayed out loud and tears fell down Ruby’s cheeks. I just looked on in silence and marveled at the sweetness of the moment and our fleeting connection in such a special setting.

We shared a few more words after and then I asked them each for a hug. We shared some hugs and then I took my leave.
Maybe we will meet again. Maybe not.
Some might call our meeting a coincidence, others synchronicity, others a sacred moment. But I know what I know in my heart.

I love my Hills and all the magic moments that I experience with them.

Love and blessings to Ruby and Precious wherever they are.

‘All is well and all manner of things shall be well.’ Blessed Be.

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The Emotional Weather

I love walking on my hills whatever the weather. I love watching the turning of the seasons. Seeing the landscape change, as it is beginning to now, from vibrant greens to various shades of orange and brown.  As the leaves come to the end of their short life and the trees let them go, they can fall to the ground and nourish saplings of the future.

And I welcome the different weather conditions that the seasons bring. The photo was taken yesterday and the air was cool and damp and there was a greyness to everything.

It seems to me that the weather here in England is just like our emotions. You get the full spectrum! From hot and sunny with clear blue skies to wind and snow and ice and plenty of rain.

They say there is no such thing as bad weather; only inappropriate clothing!! I think the same can be said for our emotions. There are no bad emotions just a distorted perspective and a lack of understanding of their value. There really are no ‘bad’ emotions, they are all as valuable as each other it’s just that some create less comfortable sensations in our bodies. We have been taught to feel shame and guilt and to feel ‘less than’ when we feel certain emotions and so when these emotions arise our mind wants to kick in and starts giving us a hard time for having a hard time!! Self talk riddled with ‘shoulds’ and ‘oughts’ about how we should or shouldn’t be feeling!

A great catalyst on our journey home is having the courage to feel what we need to feel. When we experience extremely uncomfortable emotions it is usually because the present incident has triggered the emotions of a similar experience from the past in which we were not able to fully express all the related feelings and sensations. Usually because we were taught to suppress or numb or distract ourselves from feeling them. Now we can choose differently.

So whenever any uncomfortable stuff arises its sometimes helpful to understand what has been triggered and remind yourself that this triggering is just an opportunity to have the courage to feel now what you were not able to feel then. In this way the fear / trauma is released from our physiology and there is more room for love and life to flow through us. Just feel the sensations in the body. Stay with it a moment longer than last time before you distract yourself and the time will come when similar incidents no longer trigger you. That is when you know the wound is healed and is now just a scar that you can wear with pride at having done the work you needed to heal.

So I walk on the hills whatever the weather and remind myself that the conditions are like emotions and it is best that I welcome them all like Rumi’s Guest House poem. They have all come to clean me out! We may as well embrace all of this human experience instead of picking and choosing the bits that are easy. Walking only when the sun is shining! We don’t tend to grow much from things being easy and comfortable all the time! When I look back, it’s the most challenging times that have given me the opportunity to make quantum leaps back home to the truth of who I truly am.

Embrace the weather, embrace our emotions, embrace all of Life with acceptance and compassion and a new peace begins to descend. Namaste

 

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Young People are the Future

youth

Today I spoke to the secondary pupils at Maple Hayes Hall Dyslexia School. The title of my talk was: ‘It’s not what happens but how we choose to respond that counts.’ I wanted them to know that despite (and perhaps because) of their challenges with reading and writing etc they can still lead happy, loved and successful lives. Thank you Jackie Tweedie for your repeated requests to the head teacher to get me in to talk.

It’s hard to say how it went but I know I gave it my all and I hope that some of the things that I shared will stick with them. I know my heart felt very open as I looked around into the eyes of so many young people.

With dyslexia they will have their additional challenges as if life isn’t tough enough for young people already. I keep hearing about the massive increase in mental health issues amongst our youth and on Radio 4 while driving to the school there was an interview with a 9 year old boy who was depressed and said he saw no point in living. What is going on??! He said that he asks himself the big questions like ‘why are there wars?’ and ‘why aren’t people kinder to each other?’ My suspicion is that these larger issues, that young people can see no solution to are having a massive detrimental effect on their well- being. It makes me a little sad.

Young people are the future. The extent to which we invest in them now will determine the future of humanity.

One Love x

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Sacred Masculinity and role models for our young men

Yesterday was my last mentoring session with James (not his real name). I have been seeing James for an hour and a half every two weeks for over a year. Now the funding has run out as he has finished school and moved on to college. The primary objective of the mentoring was to prevent him from being expelled from school. We achieved that at least.
I am sad that I won’t get to see him anymore but he knows that he can call me any time if he wants to talk. He probably won’t. None of the many young people that I have worked with over the last 20 years ever get back in touch. They just disappear and I can only hope that some of the seeds that I have sown will take root so that they may grow strong and healthy and even perhaps flower.
James is no angel. He hangs around in the gang scene, listens to gang music and wears gang clothes. He is addicted to cannabis. It helps his anxiety and his back pain and helps keep him numb and distracted from the shadows of his past that haunt him.
He was fostered by the mother of his best friend and so has been very lucky in this respect. He was taken from his own mother and separated from his siblings by social services eventually when his step father slammed his head in a door as a punishment. He was about 11 years old at the time. This incident was the last in a series of violent abuse that James had suffered. His father has been in prison for most of his life.
I don’t know what life has in store for James but I know the road ahead will not be straight forward. It’s hard to break the cycle of drugs, crime and violence that is his daily life and all he really knows.
In our time together we would always go to a cafe and have a full English breakfast. It felt important to me to share food, for me to offer him some physical nourishment as well as emotional and spiritual. I do this with most of my mentees. While we ate we would talk and I would catch up on what had been happening since we last met. I would offer guidance here and there but try my best not to judge. After we would go for a drive. James would be in charge of the stereo and we would invariably listen to gang music … loud! I didn’t challenge him too much about the lyrics. I know the music is a form of self harm, the pain in the lyrics makes James feel that it is not just him, that he is not alone and the songs sing of feelings etc that he is not able to express himself.
It seems primarily important when we work in a therapeutic way with anyone that we accept them as they are. James says he has listened to hundreds of people who have tried to change him and fix him and put him on the right path. He listened to me when I did challenge him because most of the time I accept him as he is. I never told him to stop smoking because I did the same thing when I was his age. I was stoned for 10 years until I was ready to begin exorcising the pain of my childhood.
Anyway I feel that it is important for me to do what I can, as an awakening man, for James and the other young men that I mentor face to face or via video call. The children are the future. They are growing up in an environment that is far from the optimum conditions for health, self esteem and happiness. When we heal ourselves we help the young people that we come into contact with. As Bob Marley said ‘you can’t blame the youth.’ They are a product of our dysfuncional society. It’s just as well that the old is crumbling and the new is rising for the sake of all the innocent children across the planet.

So I asked James to write a few words by way of recommendation to other young men and this is what he wrote. Not the kind of thing you would expect really from a tough gang member, criminal, drug user!!

‘I highly recommend miguel dean mentoring sessions as they are very useful for young persons such as myself going through family trouble, abuse, bullying, anxiety and any other issues or even just to chat. miguel is genuinely the nicest man I’ve ever met and I hope more people reach out to him as the sessions are extremely useful – miguel thank you so much mate I have found great value in the sessions and I will never forget the lessons you taught me thank you thank you thank you’

Bless him and all the children.

 

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