Tag - awake

Autumn Moments

The brambles, with their spiky tendrils now offer their sweet blackberries too.

Which will you choose?

What path will you take now that you have arrived here?

What treasures of heart and mind have you harvested these long summer days?

What roads have you traveled with sunshine and rain, through the labyrinth of thoughts and emotions?

Who are you now that you were not, before these summer moons had passed?

The adventure of this being human unfolds as we feel the turning of our leaves and a richness within that we have gathered from a collection of myriad moments. gifted to us to arrange and sort and sift through at our pleasure.

Do not miss the opportunity to witness, to observe, to drink in these moments. They are priceless for they are really all we ever have. Sacred moments that tumble and spin together like golden leaves caught in a swirling dance, only to be blown from our memories, though they still leave a subtle trace in our hearts.

O the fleetingness of these moments, the fragility of breath, the beauty, the ugliness, the distorted and the magnificent, the pain and the sheer joy of this human existence at this autumn time.

The cool morning air from the open window is felt upon my human edges.

My skin feel s and my heart feels and all of my body is awash with sensations, tingling, humming, vibrating; I am energy dancing;  fast and frenetic and a slow gentle waltz.

And though the boughs of my life feel heavy at times for they are laden with juicy apples,  this heaviness is welcome for there is a weight of certainty behind my knowing that all is well.

The air is cool and yet the sun will rise again, there will be warmth before the light fades and this day is also done.

The wheel of life keeps on turning and I will watch and learn and feel, ever more fully, more deeply, more gratefully, knowing the sacredness of these autumn moments.

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The Rising of the Sacred, Primal Masculine

I feel it rising in me as I deepen my rewilding.  My embracing of my humanness, the earthiness, the darkness deep within the earth is within me too and it is welcome for it will not be denied. It has not always been this way for me and so as I change, I see this changing and rising in brothers that I know too. I am witnessing this masculine energy being purified in women also.  Beneath the thin veneer of male or female bodies we are genderless in the dance of divine masculine and feminine energies.

We are all doing our best and it is a hard road to travel at times. When all the external forces and internal voices of fear attempt to hold us back, to keep us in the false distorted ideas of what a man or a woman is.

I see that central to mans journey to sacred masculinity is to have the courage to feel that which we were afraid to feel. To leave the realm of the head and return to the kingdom of the heart, to transform the old pain so there is potential to experience Life in a way that we never thought possible; to realise that we have been asleep for so long, imprisoned behind the numb bars of the mind.
In the deepest darkest scariest places is where our treasure lies. The feelings of past unexpressed feelings are that dark cave and the treasure is guarded by dragons. But the dragons are actually beautiful when we get to know them, when we begin to dance with fear and ride on the back of dragons miracles happen!

There are millions of wounded men who had no role models, we were shamed by fathers and mothers, our fathers were absent or beat us or mocked us. We were taught that big boys don’t cry so all our pain got locked away. My step mother used to say to me ‘I’ll give you something to cry for.’ when I cried and she would hit me. My tears still do not flow as freely as I would like them to. 🙁

We men need the kindness, compassion and understanding of woman because we too have been abandoned, abused and left feeling lost and disoriented. That doesn’t mean that women should take any shit off us either!! There is a place for soft and tough Love.

Remember that the work we do to reunite the divine masculine and feminine within each of us is not just for ourselves. We are creating a new template for the children and the generations to come. It may take generations before True Love between man and woman becomes the norm but the journey IS the destination. And it may happen in a moment too! We do this work for us and to serve the collective and the innocent children to come. We are the trailblazers and doing this work is a good way to spend our precious time here on planet earth!!

The primal Shakti infused masculine is rising. We men our now give ourselves permission to embody all aspects of sacred masculinity.
Keeping the faith and keeping our hearts open is key. Let’s not make man or woman the enemy. Let’s keep nurturing our tender strength and compassion for ourselves and our brothers and sisters as we continue walking each other home.  We either do this all together or not at all. Namaste <3

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The Door is Open But Will You Step In?

What we perceive with our five senses of touch, smell, sight, taste and hearing is just the very tip of the ice-berg. There is much more ‘going on,’ much more data available in each moment than we can experience with the limitations of these human senses even though they are miraculous in themselves. If you need evidence of this just consider a bird on the lawn listening for the movement of worms beneath the surface. We can’t hear what a bird can hear because of the narrow band range within which our hearing operates. But never the less it exists. The same can be said of our smell if you consider how a dog can smell things from a distance that we cannot.  Nature provides endless evidence that there is more going on than we are aware. Wifi, electricity and radio waves etc are all invisible to our eyes but never-the-less we know they exist.  So this begs the question: What else is going on beyond the limitations of our senses?  The answer is that there are infinite possibilities and to begin to feel deeply into the miracle and mystery of life we must be open to this ‘not knowing’.

Secondly we need to be aware of the limitations of our minds. It seems to me that what we can perceive with our minds is possibly just a small puddle and beyond our usual human mind perception is an infinite ocean.  This is what Hesse alluded to in his book ‘Beyond The Doors Of Perception.’ It is ignorant and arrogant to believe that what we can comprehend is the totality of what actually exists. This is what Einstein was referring to when he said ‘Imagination is greater than knowledge,’ because first something new must be birthed or arrive in our minds through imagination but where does that idea or thought arrive from?  I suspect that it arrives from ‘beyond the veil’ of what we can ‘get our heads round’. This is in essence the dance of the masculine and feminine or yin and yang as the feminine is constantly birthing or manifesting creation in its myriad forms and that from which this arises is the masculine principle or consciousness.  From the emptiness comes fullness. Form moves and is birthed from stillness.  If we are able to entertain this truth, this then logically offers the question ‘what else lies beyond the veil?’  I propose that the answer is infinite possibilities.  And remember that infinity is rather large and itself is something else that we can’t really comprehend with our minds!

There is a bigger unknown picture that we are part of.  Perhaps it is time to really KNOW this and to walk through the door of perception. It is always open. <3

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The Kiss of Awakening

I remember my first proper kiss with my Beloved.  I was distinctly surprised by the passion, intensity and power of the kiss, as until that moment she had seemed quite shy and reserved.  It was a beautiful moment and the power of a kiss is something that has stayed with me.

On one of my many walks on the land I recently remembered the fairy story of Sleeping Beauty and how she is awakened by a kiss from the prince. I was immediately struck that it seemed to be the other way round in my experience and that there was something so magical and powerful about the kiss that I experienced from woman that it gave me the courage to undergo the next challenging part of my own awakening.  To all intents and purposes I was still asleep as I had not yet faced the dragon of old emotional pain that lay waiting for me in the darkest cave of my own deep mother wound. The kisses from my Beloved and our adventures in sacred sexuality was a great motivator to stay the course when things got really challenging!

Looking at things from more of a macro perspective it does seem that in this path of ascension or awakening that it is woman who leads the way.  There are many more women who are immersed in the field of spiritual growth than men and this seems to be connected to some extent by the fact that women are more in their bodies than men.  Giving birth, periods and their connection with Mother Earth the Great Creator Goddess is key in this.  Most of us now know that the we must fully embody our humanity if we are to enter the realms of the 5th dimension or the New Earth in which Love becomes the primary energy as opposed to fear but men often struggle with this.

Men have grown up with the programming that ‘big boys don’t cry’ and have been conditioned to avoid, suppress and numb out any feelings that have been labelled as demonstrating weakness or revealing that they are anything but fully in their strength and power. This seems to be the unconscious message of patriarchy in a disastrous attempt to maintain ‘power over’ and pretend that ‘it’s all okay, everything is under control’ while the planet and sentient beings suffer. Of course women have suffered the craziness of denying emotions too but not to the extent that men have and this is one of the reasons why in the United Kingdom alone 16 men commit suicide every day.

But the reality is that the energy of the Sacred Man is rising. If it is rising in me it is happening in others and recent encounters and feedback from my community of conscious brothers and sisters echoes this. How do we catalyse this further awakening amongst men? One thing for sure is that it is not always helpful for women to keep asking where are all the conscious men? My answer to this is always the same:

Your beliefs will determine your reality.  If you believe there are few conscious men that is what your experience will be. Don’t sit around waiting for them to show up or complaining when the ‘wrong’ man arrives because whoever is there. In front of you, will to some extent, be a mirror reflection of your own inner masculine energy. Focus on healing your own inner masculine because the wounds that patriarchy has inflicted stretch back through many generations and run deep in men and women and there is much work to be done to create the New Earth and merge in the yin yang union of divine masculine and feminine so that we can re-member that we are One. We are Life itself having a human, virtual reality, duality experience. Don’t all the great teachers and mystics say that we experience duality to know Oneness!?  Instead of men and women berating each other why don’t we ask ourselves the question:

What can I do to help and serve my brothers or my sisters?

A safe bet is always: Do your inner work!

Society encourages us to look outside to find peace and happiness but transformation and healing is essentially always an inside job. Others and tools may help but it is us who have to learn to fall in love with ourselves and to do this we must face and banish all that is not love from within.

Let’s not get too hung up on gender and swing the pendulum from patriarchal abuse of power to man bashing and a whole new wave of spiritual bypass feminism.  The crimes against women by man for hundreds of years have been an abomination and so much of this continues right now and although we would do well to alleviate the immediate suffering, the long term solution, the roots of healing the craziness of disharmony between man and woman lies in deepening our own sacred practices and alchemising the divine twin flame union within each of us.

In this life time we are either in a male or female body but let’s not get too fixated about this.  I wonder how many lifetimes I have experienced as a woman? I just happen to be in male body this time but I know that beneath this façade of gender I am genderless.  Beneath the ideas of God or Goddess The Creator, The Great mystery or consciousness is genderless. We are all in this together and now is the time for the laying down of weapons. The time for unity, union, balance and harmony. It sounds very likely that patriarchy hijacked the sleeping beauty story and that its origins actually lie in the Babylonian myth of the Goddess Innana who ventured into the underworld to kiss awake her lover Tammuz. And this myth seems to be happening right now again. We are all living this myth but note that the myth says that Innana kissed Tammuz and he awoke, not that she kicked him and he awoke!!

The kiss of a lover is a powerful and magical act as I know from my own experience.  Let’s facilitate lots of inner kissing of our divine masculine and feminine principles and let’s see how this shows up in the world.  I believe passionate, loving kisses between men and women and women and women and men and men would be a good thing. It doesn’t really bother me who is kissing who. Let’s just focus on kissing ourselves and each other awake.

Love and kisses. Namaste…

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Chasing Rainbows

You are the rainbow and you keep chasing after yourself when if you just stood still, really still, inside and out, you might just see the beauty and miracle of the full spectrum of your light colours!

Where do you think the colours of your chakras come from?  You are the light that shines through the prism of your being to manifest the full spectrum of rainbow colours.

The rainbow doesn’t cease when it hits the earth, it continues through the earth and rejoins itself in the sacredness of the One circle.

Stop looking for yourself with your eyes. The senses will only ever point you in the right direction but they belong to this human identity.  You must stop relying on your egoic mind and senses as guides to bring you home to your self.  They will take you so far but then you must say goodbye to these guides, to this human identity, if you want to travel beyond the doors of perception to the realm of The Great Mystery.

You are both the rainbow that you see on the horizon and the rainbow itself.

That’s why there is a metaphorical pot of gold at the foot of the rainbow. The gold is the gold of your being, your presence, the divinity that you are but have forgotten.

This world is somnambulistic, it puts you to sleep and the journey to the rainbow within yourself is your awakening.

And in truth you are always awake.  It is that which notices your sleeping, that is the presence which is always awake. Otherwise how would you recognise that you were asleep?

Yes there is a journey of ascension and you are already there. The journey is to know and embody the truth that you are already there.  The Great Mystery is the I AM that is at your core.  You are the centre of the universe and the universe is the centre of you.

It’s all a great big joke; a paradox. There is nowhere to go but only the allowing of the falling away of that which conceals the knowing that you are and always shall Be.

Beyond, beneath the dance of man and woman, beneath and beyond the dance of masculine and feminine principles you always are and always will be The One!

We weren’t supposed to get too hung up on the steps of the dance or having the right partner. The dance of man and woman is a vehicle to assist you in transcending the illusion of duality.  At the core of man and woman is the genderless, sexless One. The invitation is to lose the sense of ‘self’ in the beauty of the dance itself. The Uni-verse, the one song of Life.

Stop chasing rainbows and know, really know that the rainbow you are chasing is the light shining through the diamond prism of your being. You are the pot of gold you seek. You are home.

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Bring Him Home – A Twin Flame Love Story

Sometimes you realise that there is something that you need to do or say that you can’t not do!   As soon as the idea arrived to write the story about my transformative twin flame experience I knew that I had to do it. I knew that I had a deep and rich story to share that might touch hearts.  I also felt that by sharing my story there was the potential to help people realise that we are, to a large extent, all living different versions of the same story.  What I mean by this is that we all appear to be subject to the same textures, colours and emotions of this diverse human landscape, they are all experienced in varying degrees and evoked by different scenarios and scripts that are perfectly in alignment for the highest evolution of our souls.

I have learnt that vulnerability is a super power and by sharing the stories of my life it helps me to embrace and honor all the different aspects of who I truly am. At the same time it gives others the permission to relax into imperfection and be okay with sometimes feeling sad, broken, lost and confused too. Societal norms suggest that we keep our shortcomings or weaknesses to ourselves but when we share our challenges everyone breathes a sigh of relief in the confirmation that it is not just them that struggles, gets things wrong and falls down at times. Self-acceptance is perhaps one of the most important qualities to put in our back-pack of tools and resources for the journey back home to self-actualization and union.

They say that relationship is the highest form of yoga and as I wrote I began to see that I wanted to share my experience that evidenced that this approach to relationship is true; that the deepest purpose behind intimate relationship is to know, honour, heal and love ourselves in order to actualize the twin flame divine union within.

As my profound transformation began to settle inside me a new clarity emerged as I wrote and I began to see clearly that this story had other value too. I saw that there was the potential for the healing energy transmission woven into the fabric of the book, to have the power to go beyond our personal stories and to permeate into the very essence of the sacred story of humanity. I speak of the big story which sees the end of duality, conflict and separation to the return of peace, harmony, union and Oneness.

I believe that my little story (as are all of our stories) is a microcosm of what is awakening all over the planet: men and women are beginning to lay down their weapons and come together with compassion and understanding to each do his or her own work in order to heal generations of separation and mistrust.

And as artists we play a significant role in this paradigm shift, in this re-LOVE-ution! In many ways the artist is a modern shaman because through music, art, words etc. he / she is able to bring information and wisdom from beyond the veil into consciousness and enable people to see and experience, that which previously was not visible. Once things are brought into the light of awareness the magic can begin to do its work and in this way to write, to spell words is a form of magic, to write from the heart, from a place of clear, loving intention is a medium for casting a powerful spell!

As Rumi the Sufi mystic poet wrote: ‘there are hundreds of ways to kneel and kiss the ground.’ I increasingly saw that my gift and ability to write was my way to kneel and kiss the ground.

So the more I relaxed into the alchemy and magic of creating this book, the more deeply my intention became clear that this story would be a healing catalyst to help bring about the divine union of man and woman.

This path of sacred union is the place that life has guided me to explore, as a result of wounds (or gifts) that I received when I was very young.  The culmination of my beautiful and at times painful relationship experiences, find their expression within the pages of this book.  I decided that not only would these pages be a prayer of gratitude for the sacredness of union with another human being but they would also be an offering, some possible guidance and inspiration for others doing their best to navigate this often challenging and yet highly rewarding terrain. It’s not that I claim to be an expert in realtionships (the following pages are testament to this) or that I have all the answers. On the contrary, I am not interested in telling the reader what to do or how to feel, rather, my aim is to show the reader how I felt in my experience, so that they may learn from it and utilize the lessons in their lives.

It seems that the divine twin flame union within each human and the sacred union of man and woman is a foundational shift that is beginning to take place on this planet.  If we are to create a more beautiful, peaceful and loving world for our children and the generations to come we need to learn what union and Love really is and part of this journey of remembering what love is, is discovering what it is not.

In many ways I see my life as a book that I am working on. I keep scribbling and writing, keeping some bits and discarding others that don’t fit or belong anymore. I have come to the point in my life where I have rearranged lines, pages, paragraphs and chapters so that now I am beginning to understand the story of my life and what it was all about. This life editing process is the culmination of what I share with you in the pages of this book and that the conclusion is that it’s all about love. We just have to have the courage and determination to set out on this incredible journey of discovery to experience for ourselves what love really is!

May this book shine a little light to illuminate your path back home.

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