Tag - Love

The Bird Table

I wanted to feed the birds so I bought a fine looking bird table from an elderly gentleman who was retired and wanted to put his carpentry skills to good use in the shed at the bottom of his garden.

When at first I hung out the bird feeder and sprinkled the table with seeds the visitors were few.

Sometimes I would have to throw the food in the feeder away because it had gone mouldy and yet I so wanted to feed the birds. I knew they were hungry.

Before too long the big brave birds came: the arrogant, greedy magpies, the comical, strutting pigeons and the quarrelsome blackbirds.  And of course the curious robins, they were amongst the first.

And although to begin with I was a little disappointed because I wanted to see the pretty little birds, I decided to do my best to welcome everyone to my bird table!

The winged creatures are a blessing to me. They are a gift:  miracles in aeronautical engineering presence of a master creator.  Messengers, teachers, delicate beings with wonderful songs to fill the trees and skies.

Like pieces of my spirit the birds flit and fly here, there and everywhere, unfettered by the lightness of their being.  As I feed the birds with my humble offerings I feed my spirit which is also returning to the light.

When the winter months grow heavy upon us what else can we do but feed the birds?

What else can we do but tend as lovingly and gently to the aspects of ourselves that yearn for care and kindness?

And with the passing of time and regular care and attention the numbers and varieties of visitors to the bird table increases in the garden of my being; slowly at first and then more and more.

I sit and watch their antics from the comfort of my chair and  I smile in welcome at the new arrivals who now grace me with their presence daily.

The pretty multi-coloured ones come now too: the goldfinches and bullfinches and blue tits and great tits, the shy winged ones:  acceptance, compassion, gentleness.

So I feed the birds to show them that I love them all.

As I make my morning trip, barefoot across the cold, damp, earth to replenish the bird table for my spirited, winged, treasures I know that as I feed them, so I feed and nourish myself.

And the cold, dark season begins to pass and I am at peace with my winter’s work of kindness and care, tending to the nourishment of the birds as they flit and fly inside me; the arrogant, the gentle, the comical, the cheeky, the quarrelsome, the shy.

After all, I am learning that everyone is welcome at my bird table.

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If You Come To My Door

If you come to my door then please leave your mind by the path on the garden gate.

It’s not that there is a problem with your mind, you have a beautiful mind, it’s just that it gets a little lost and scared at times.

Do not leave it by my door because it will bounce and jump, so that it can peak through the windows.

Hang it gently, tenderly on the gatepost as if it were your favourite bag with a box of eggs inside.

 

If you come to my door then take my outstretched hand for you are most welcome into this sacred space.

Let me take your coat and shoes and take a seat while I prepare you something warm and soothing to sip.

Show me with your eyes when you are ready to be held and I will wrap my strong arms around you so that you will know that you are safe and cherished.

And allow me the pleasure of nuzzling under the tumble of your thick brown curls so that I can breathe you in; your exquisite, delicate, feminine fragrance.

 

If you come to my door please allow me to prepare some food for us while you lay looking so beautiful on the sofa, and rest your sleepy body.

When our bellies are full let’s watch our spirits swirl and blend with the gentle, warm music and soft, cosy candle light.

 

If you come to my door then perhaps my body will dance and move for you as it has never done before and I will lay back when I am spent and watch your curves ebb and flow to the rhythm of your life’s passion for itself.

If you come to my door then perhaps you will also come to my bed. Perhaps I will lay my hands on you where they are moved to be or I will breathe into you the sacred Lover’s breath and allow the magic to pulsate, to move and tremble your open, physical form.  And the releasing, the transforming will be done with tears and laughter while a  deep reverence and gratitude for this human experience shall join us and watch in awe.

Then we shall lay together and I will caress your face allowing the memories and old fears to surface gently like rainbow bubbles whose time has come to burst.

Please come to my door for your love blesses me as it undoes and dissolves that which was never really me.

Your outstretched hand as I go to leave the bed says so sweetly and tenderly ‘don’t go my love. Stay a while longer.  I want you.’ Your wanting melts my heart and tears for all the unloved and unwanted parts of my self rise up.

And when we are done with our healing, our feeling, our letting go, then we will slip into a hot bath together to wash each other and feel the wet contours of these miraculous human lives. Frankincense and Lavender oil to anoint these sacred bodies that know and feel so much.

If you come to my door then know that I will miss you when you leave; even though we both know that Love can never really leave itself.

If you come to my door…

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I Am A Wooden Fence

I am a fence to keep you safe.
A magic fence that does not constrain you and from which you may leave at any time.
No harm can come to you while I surround you.and if you choose
I will move with you wherever you go.

I am a fence on a high plateau and through my arms is a stunning view.
The grass where you lay is soft, warm and mossy and
The earth holds you gently in her loving embrace.
And I am a fence to keep you safe while you hum gently to yourself and plait your hair and dream in your hearts desires..

I am a fence because it is all that I can be,
I will move in close and embrace you tenderly and stroke your hair while your holy tears fall to bless the sacred earth.
When fear comes roaming it will not stay long for fear is no match for a fence such as me!

And I am a fence to witness your rising when sweet release has cleaned you out.
To behold the dance and hear the sweet song of your heart.
I am a fence that vibrates in awe at the magnificence of your strength, your courage, your softness, your exquisite beauty.
Maiden, mother, lover, crone I am honoured and blessed to serve you all.

I am a fence
To keep you safe.

 

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On Tender, Loving, Vulnerability and Transformation

Let me make it clear that I share what I share because I believe and know of the power in vulnerability. I am well, I am strong, I am blessed, I am exactly where I need to be, experiencing exactly what is needed in service of my own transformation and that of the collective. I do not need or seek sympathy. I share because I feel it is important to share the whole of me, the whole of the ascension process, the messy bits and the bits that bring shame or lack of self worth to the surface to be released and transformed and dissolved. I share so that others who are finding their journey challenging may find solace in knowing that they are not alone. Too often we just want to share the ‘success’ the shiny end result, the victory. We forget to share the process that may guide and inspire others, we forget to share the perceived failures and the times when we are on our knees and crawling out of bed in the morning takes a super human will. It is the journey that IS the destination and so I feel it is important to share all aspects of my journey in the hope that others may find strength and resilience and faith when each are needed.

And having said all this, if everything is flowing and easy in your journey, then that’s awesome. Suffering and challenge is not to be put on a pedestal. It doesn’t mean that if you are not suffering that you are not growing. Suffering is old paradigm stuff and I believe that it is on the way out because with a new higher, deeper consciousness we don’t need suffering. We can learn from Love and joy and bliss too when we are awake enough to not need the motivation of unnecessary pain for change. Pain is inevitable as part of this current human experience but suffering is optional right NOW. Who knows what the future holds in relation to this.

Right now Life is an amazing blend for me. I feel so blessed and grateful for this Life and where I am on my journey, I am so bathed in Love and compassion and Divine Feminine tenderness and this Love is releasing and displacing the last remnants of fear that reside in my heart. As this fear is displaced I am feeling it in the form of emotions like low self worth and shame and a kind of uncleanness. And I know it is just the old leaving. As it passes through my physical body it causes discomfort. My skin feels uncomfortable, sleep is limited and there are aches and pains and strange sensations particularly in the right (masculine) side of my body. Headaches that are so unusual for me are more common and I am being asked to really honour my body. Today I have a massage booked!

The body and emotional stuff brings some challenges when there are things that need attending to, even though I feel at times I would just like to hibernate in my man cave for the winter!! It is just stuff passing through. It is part of my journey to freedom on all levels. I have taken steps to alleviate the process as best as possible and a large dose of surrender medicine is being swallowed too!

Lots of tenderness and lots of self care is needed at these times when the energy seems to be accelerating our metamorphosis massively.
Be in nature, feet on the earth and head in the sky.
Being with our tribe and being connected with those who we love and are loved by. Whatever we feel, it is personal to some extent but remember it is also humanity’s ‘stuff’ that we are clearing. A whole lineage of clearing is not for the feint of heart!

I believe that tender, loving, vulnerability facilitate transformation. .
All is well and all manner of things shall be well.

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Fire, Earth and Darkness

Last night four friends gathered, as they do four times a year, and made their way through the woods as the last of the daylight faded.
They arrived at the round, natural hollow in the earth amongst half a dozen yew trees and prepared their fire.
The sacred space was honoured and the fire was lit.
They sat in silence for a while, alone and together with their thoughts and feelings while the darkness wrapped itself around their backs.After a short while the first of the friends broke the silence to speak of what was alive in them and what was asking to be shared.
The other three listened in silence.
When the first was done a short silence ensued until the second of the friends was ready to share. This continued until all four had spoken their truth and shared from the deepest place inside.
No conversation, no comments just heart felt listening and silence.
All the time the fire crackled and flickered, fed occasionally by some wood added to the embers and flames and the yew trees watched. Alchemy weaved and caressed them while they sat on the cool damp earth.
When all had spoken they shared a few words and gave offerings to the fire before making their way back out of the woods to share some food and warmth and mulled cider.
In three months time they will meet again.

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Male Suicide and the Divine Feminine

At different points yesterday I found my mind wondering about the suicide of my homeless friend Rem and I saw the connection with the feminine, the heart, the feeling centre.
Rem was loved by many folk but he could not feel it. I can relate to this. When we are young and our needs are not met or we suffer trauma, we build protective layers around our hearts to protect them from feeling more emotional pain.
I think of these walls as made of ice and and all the unexpressed emotions that we were not able or capable of feeling at the time.
So we live in a world where the heart, the feeling centre of most people is encased in ice, frozen and inaccessible to varying degrees.
For me the heart is the throne or home of the divine feminine but for too long She has been locked away in this self made prison inside the hearts of men and women.
The ice prison bars protect us to some extent from feeling more pain but unfortunately the bars also prevent us feeling Love that is given freely by people that care about us.
Rem could not feel the Love because of the bars he had unconsciously created around his heart. If he could have felt the Love maybe he would not have taken his life.
My heart was also in an ice prison for much of my life but by the grace of God I realised that I could begin working to dissolve the bars. This is the journey back to the heart that we each are invited to take at this auspicious time in humanity’s story. This journey on a macro level is the pledge to restore the Divine Feminine, to her rightful throne. As each of us make progress on this journey to our own hearts we affect the collective and take more steps towards a new earth built on the foundations of Love and Truth and pure masculine and feminine principles.
This journey is not for the feint of heart because as we set our intention and walk the road back home we will initially feel everything that was not felt before. As the ice bars melt the old ‘frozen alive’ feelings are released and we must have the courage and awareness to know how to feel these feelings which are often intense, especially when we have been numb for so long and are so unaccustomed to know what it is to feel acutely.
For me Rem’s story is symbolic of the journey that man is invited to embark on at this time, back home to the heart, to honouring our feelings, to have the courage to feel the full spectrum of emotions that are part of the miracle of this human experience.
And this journey is not just for men but for women too. Perhaps it is just more of a challenge for men because we were often given even less permission to feel as boys growing up.
Melting the ice bars, feeling again, coming back to life,. walking each other home, courageously feeling what needs to be felt, remembering that not only are we all worthy of Love but that we are always Loved and in actual fact Love is our very essence.
Now is a good time for the sacred masculine to fully embrace the divine feminine, to set her free from the prison where she has been for too long and in this way there will be less and less stories like Rem’s until one day these stories will all but be forgotten.

 

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