Tag - Man

Sacred Masculine or Scared Masculine?

The truth is, it’s a fine line!

I lived the first fifteen years of my life in fear that my step mother would assault me while I was at home and when I was at school I lived in fear that I would be teased by my peers for wearing uncool clothes or be verbally or physically attacked by the rougher kids from the other more working class estate.  After I left home I spent seven years with no fixed abode in fear of my fellow drug crazed traveller friends, the abuse of power by the police or local vigilantes.  Yes, fear was my constant companion.  It was there lurking in the shadows all the time like Gollum in Lord of the Rings, following, waiting, whispering.

Fear is a natural aspect of being human.  It is designed to keep us safe so that we alerted to danger and choose appropriate action when our safety is threatened.  But what if we are a child and there are no options that will make us safe?  Then we find ourselves in fight and flight all of the time and the flow of cortisol and stress chemicals become our default state, placing great stress on our adrenal glands and our biology so that our bodies have to try to compensate for this as best they can.  Add to this, if you are in a male body, the platitude that ‘big boys don’t cry’ so that these fear based emotions are not allowed to be processed and we have the beginnings of boys supressing and denying their feelings.  Every young boy will experience fear to varying degrees no matter how lovingly he is raised and consciously or unconsciously will absorb the information that you are ‘less than’ if you feel fear and often are actually  taught to feel shame for feeling fear when it does arise and it can’t be concealed. So we learn to give ourselves a hard time for having a hard time, we shame ourselves!

When a baby is upset or fearful it will cry and alert it’s carers that something is wrong and hopefully it will be attended to.  The emotion is expressed through the sound and through the release of tears.  When a duck has finished a skirmish with another, it will raise itself up and flap its wings to release any of the emotion created in the conflict.  Nature has designed it so that emotional energy is released as it is felt and therefore causes no lasting physical, psychological or emotional harm.

But what happens when a boy or a man’s fear is not expressed?  Then we have a whole society of boys in men’s bodies who adopt many different ways to numb or distract or to conceal their fear. This is most commonly done through addictions like overworking, alcohol, pornography, over consuming food or material things, wearing the mask of status or striving for what our dysfunctional society calls ‘success’. And sadly we leave the realms of our bodies, of our hearts, of our feelings and we retreat into our heads. We become talking heads. If our male leaders were truly in touch with their feelings they could not make the decisions that they do which they know will cause so much suffering to children, women and the planet. These are the very things that the sacred man knows he was born to protect, to raise up and honour.  But we live in a world where men are taught not to feel and we see the result of this disconnect between head and heart.

Let’s be clear that most if not all ‘negative’ or uncomfortable emotions arise from fear: shame, jealousy, guilt, anger all have fear at their root.  This is why the road to sacred masculinity is paved with fear.  To make that epic journey from the head back to the heart I have had to feel much of the fear that had been trapped in my body for decades.  Sometimes I feel fear and I don’t know what it is related to and I just have to trust that it is old energy leaving. Sometimes a situation will trigger an old memory and fear will arise that is far in excess of the current situation.

I know that this issue is not necessarily gender specific.  Women carry the same wound to a large extent.  So it is vitally important that when a man is making that courageous journey back to his heart that he is not shamed or dishonoured for whatever arises.  I have been held in the arms of men and sobbed and sobbed uncontrollably at times when I felt safe enough to allow the years of unexpressed fear to be felt and to leave.  The sacred masculine is not a hunky, tattooed, warrior who fears nothing. He is a man who dares to walk a road without a map because there is little record of this happening before on this earth in our recorded, censored and distorted ‘his’story. He is a man who keeps stepping toward what he fears regardless of how much it evokes haunted memories of past injustices or abuse or shaming that he suffered.

I feel it is no coincidence that the words sacred and scared are so similar.  To become sacred you must acknowledge your scaredness.  You must make fear your constant companion until it is time for you to go your separate ways. Perhaps that day will come or perhaps it will not.  I don’t know because for now I know that, although in much smaller ways, I still find, that I am asked to embrace and honour my fears most days. It seems the journey of becoming the best version of ourselves is never ending and letting go of fear is key to this process.

https://www.facebook.com/migueldeanauthor/?modal=admin_todo_tour

 

 

Read more...

Yesterday I Fell…

…the challenges had been coming too quick and fast and I didn’t have enough time to regroup and centre myself. I forgot about me and tried to carry too much.  The fear touched some tender scars and the discomfort in my body clouded my vision and I lost sight of who I really am. My little boy got scared and the man was a little too hard on him.

Yesterday I fell, I held space for those who I was responsible for as best as I could and gave my best knowing that it was good enough. In the giving I received and I was reminded of my worth. It needed to be a gentle day. Everything that was not immediately necessary was put on hold while I rested in my falling, while I viewed everything from my new vantage point in the corner of my world with my arms hugging my tucked up knees and my head bowed.  I rocked myself gently.

Yesterday I fell and yet my friend phoned asking if now was a good time to call. And I replied that the timing was perfect and I gave thanks for the beauty of friends and connection and I spoke my truth from a tender vulnerable place inside me. And I missed him when he was gone.

Yesterday I fell and still I moved around the grey alien landscape of the supermarket buying groceries that would be needed for the imminent arrival of my son so that there would be wholesome sustenance for both of us. I moved around the distant world getting stuff done and the shapes of people were unaware that I had fallen.

Yesterday I fell and still my soul heard the call and my heavy legs walked the sanctuary of my hills, plodding my way up to the summit and turning to face the sun that appeared momentarily from behind the thick, mottled clouds. I lay and allowed my body to be held by the earth and I breathed it all in and breathed it all out allowing the sun’s rays into my wide open mouth and then gulped and swallowed lungs full of sunshine into me.

Yesterday I fell and so I took myself to bed early and snuggled myself under the comfort of my warm soft covers and felt my fallen-ness. I felt the heavy sensations in my tired body and with my mind I caressed my weariness.

Yesterday I fell and today I awake to the sound of rain outside my open window. The clouds have broken and let fall their cleansing drops and the air feels fresher and lighter again. There was not a spectacular sunrise to be seen today but never the less a new day has dawned.  My tender heart reminds me to go gently for today I rise again. Today is a new day and today I rise and I am at peace knowing that ‘all is well and all manner of things shall be well,’ in spite of the fact and partly because…yesterday I fell.

 

 

 

Read more...

Walking With Fear

Yes, I feel your presence my old friend, your unsought company prevails despite my requests to walk this path alone. Perhaps you know best?

For a while now you have no longer led, you no longer walk beside me but instead linger in the shadows bringing up the rear. When I glance over my shoulder I can see the echo of your icy presence, where you stood moments before as you weave your illusive dance, slinking behind tree and rock. Come out, come and join me once more.

It seemed at times, that you would always walk this road with me and that I should resign myself to your company but now we both know this is not true.  But how can I abandon you when I know you have served me so well?

When I see how you have only accentuated the light by the contrast of your heavy greyness that obscured my vision at times.  And I knew that those were the times when I would do best to halt my progress, to pause the trudge of my weary footsteps and sit a while with you.

On those long nights you insisted that I should not light a fire to warm my bones but that together we should huddle under your blanket of not knowing and shiver and tremble a little. I see the value now of your hard wisdom but now we travel through new lands. You made a poor master but you are a servant of worth. You keep me nimble, on my toes and when the night closes in you remind me to keep feeding the fire that is so welcome after so many moons without.

Yes, those endless haunted nights are now long past and the flickering, dancing flames of peace and wisdom now soothe and nurture this body. All darkness is incomplete, now that the fire of truth burns strong at my centre and I see the way ahead lit by the soft orange glow from my eyes.

And this seeing reveals the silhouette of the mountain in the distance. Yes, there is another winding ascent to walk and I invite you to join me. I know of your concern for me and your desire to keep your watchful eye on me.

You are welcome for you and I are old friends and perhaps we have this one last adventure to share.

We will climb this mountain together, come close now, there is no need to slink in the shadows any longer. Come take my hand in yours and let the glow of my loving touch warm you.  Let us walk together this stretch of the road for we both know that as we reach this summit, our time together will be at an end.

As the dawn breaks and the fullness of light returns I know that you will be scared and uneasy but know that you are safe with me and that our parting will be a blessing for you know too that our friendship has run its course, our time together is at an end and there are new beginnings that await us and you have other souls to serve.

So come now, for the Mountain of Union is inviting and daunting and I have no choice but to yield to the pull. We can share stories together as we travel to pass the time for we both know that this road has been paved with stories, rich stories of dragons and warriors and lost and found and light and dark. We will share these tales one more time for we both know that the time of duality is fast reaching its end.

Your company is welcome old friend and my destiny beckons loudly now, the call of the circling buzzard above the mountain’s crown, echoes down the valley. Let us walk in to this one last story together. Be my chaperone and see me safely to the waking of this dream.

And when we reach the summit we will go our separate ways. I will watch you as you make your solitary way back down the road until you are a speck in the distance and I will turn and look ahead to see the new peaks and adventures that will surely lay ahead.

 

Read more...

Sacred Masculine Energy Needed!

Of CNN’s list of the 27 Deadliest Mass Shooters, 26 of Them Had One Thing in Common:
Only one was raised by his biological father since childhood. The other 26 were all fatherless. 🙁
 
In the article I read Susanne Venker of Fox News goes on to explain that “Indeed, there is a direct correlation between boys who grow up with absent fathers and boys who drop out of school, who drink, who do drugs, who become delinquent and who wind up in prison,” she writes. “And who kill their classmates.”
“Fatherlessness is a serious problem. America’s boys have been under stress for decades. It’s not toxic masculinity hurting them, it’s the fact that when they come home there are no fathers there. Plain and simple. Add that to a bunch of horrible cultural trends telling them that everything bad is good (gang culture, drugs, misogyny, etc.), and we’ve got a serious problem on our hands.”
 
The USA has massive issues with broken boys etc but this is certainly a world wide issue.I see it all the time with the young men that I mentor. My work is just a drop in the ocean and I know that every drop counts. I also know that as we men do our inner work we are shifting the masculine energy vibration and this is impacting on the collective future of boys and men.
 
Often when we read news stories about mass shootings etc it seems like the problem is overwhelming and we don’t know where to start. But doing our own work contributes massively. Both men and women have masculine energy within. Like yin and yang both are present within the other, so both genders can work to purify their masculine energy in balance with the inner twin flame of their divine feminine. As Rumi says ‘there are hundreds of ways to kneel and kiss the ground.’
What is your way? How will you contribute to bringing the lost boys home? Because it’s not someone else’s problem to fix; it belongs to each and every one of us. Love in action helps. <3
Read more...

Message from Sacred Man to Divine Woman about Body Image

(Who am I to write these words? This is the thought that arises almost at the same time as the thought to express my sadness at how fashion has wounded woman. So I push through, past the thoughts and write anyway…fuck it!! )

Just about every woman that I have known has issues with her body image. ‘My hips are rather boyish, my breasts are too large or too small or too saggy, my hair is the wrong colour, too thin or too curly, my belly or my bum is too big…’ and the list goes on.
Body dysmorphia.

So many girls are suffering with mental health issues and eating disorders etc because of how they believe that they are not beautiful just as they are.

So allow me to be bold enough to say that every woman’s body whether we have the pleasure to explore and be with it or not, is a mystery, it is something sacred, incredibly alluring and beautiful.

Yes we men are programmed to varying degrees to notice the fashion magazine like features: the long legs the pronounced curves, high cheekbones and large eyes but we also know that this is just a thin veneer. We also know this is just programming.

Once we go beyond the visual there is so much depth to be appreciated and enjoyed from our other senses and that which is beyond the senses. There is often a conflict that when we lay with a woman we want to keep her at arms length so that we can see her and yet at the same time we want to be so close so that we can feel, smell and taste her (and let’s not even get into the sounds!).  These senses do not discriminate based on how she looks. These senses are enjoyed by man to a large extent, by the degree to which woman accepts, loves and honours her own body.

It is possible that the mind will only take us so far. So what then? Is it possible that the body is perhaps the doorway to the divine? Is it possible that through the body we shall return home and this is why most religions have worked so hard to keep us away from loving our bodies and made a big thing about ‘sins of the flesh’? Woman’s body is a portal, it is a miracle, regardless of what shape or size it is. Her body is the temple of her sacred Heart. She is Love em-body-ed!!

Please, woman, remember this.

Read more...

A message for human men from Herne The Hunter, The Horned God and Lord of the Forest and Wild Places.

What do you see when you see my image here? Does my appearance alarm you? Do not be alarmed it may just be that you see my power, my primal energy which for too long has been abused and twisted and wielded over others rather than being used to protect and to raise up as it was meant to.

For too long you have been domesticated with this short, tidy hair, this smooth shaved face and body, these elegant clothes,disguises, costumes, uniforms reeking of washing powder and chemical products designed to hide the true smell of man. The smell of earth and fire and human.

I too, along with The Christ and Shiva and Merlin and Arthur and all the others are the face of the sacred masculine that now, finally is stirring from many generations of slumber. Like the first shoots of the crocuses from the frozen earth the energy is rising. I am rising, I am awakening and I am here to take my rightful seat upon my throne once again. The truth can only be hidden for so long. The cracks of the false grow bigger and bigger in your world as the old stories, the old lies that you were fed no longer stand. You see the mockery of the sacred masculine in your so called leaders; these petulant, dangerous boys in men’s bodies. Their time draws nigh, for once the sacred masculine stirs from his sleep he can only awaken further and claim his sovereignty…it is too late for him to fall back to sleep.

For too long have you been tamed and subjugated. For too long have you believed the lies of your fathers and the so called holy men. For too long have you carried the guilt and shame for the defilement of the divine feminine. This was not your doing, it never was and never shall be. Now is the time of honouring and revering and raising Her up so that the true power and magic of She can be returned to Her throne where we will sit together side by side in holy communion and gaze out on the restored harmony and balance, the miracle and mystery of this magnificent creation.

O yes I am a leader and I shall lead for I am a force to be reckoned with, for I am Herne The Horned God, Lord of the wild places, I am Love and Truth in Action and know this : all of my leading will be guided by Her. She is my way, my light…my Love.

It is time for me to deepen my re-wilding, to sink deeper into the earth so that I can rise cleaner and clearer and stronger in my loving softness with the all encompassing truth that permeates every cell of my body. It is time for me to reach higher into the sky so that my fingers touch the stars and the cool warmth of the moon’s grace warms my face. The sun of my heart blazes with righteous justice and passion that will see that this work will be done. I am here to serve Her and to see that the divine union of the sacred masculine and feminine is once again restored upon this earth.

I am Herne the Hunter. Be alert when you are out walking the sacred earth for I shall be with you if you dare to venture into the wild places within and without, that are my home. But do not be alarmed if you should glimpse me amongst the trees, the rocks; I mean you no harm. I am The Lord of the Wild places and my presence in your life is to remind and reconnect you with the primal, wild power that resides within you.

It is time to remember.
It is time to reawaken from your slumber.
It is time to honour Her for in so doing you shall return to your throne.
And so it is. Blessed Be 

Read more...