So much of what we are exposed to by the world is topsy turvy, back to front and inside out. Perhaps it would be simpler to live by the rule of thumb that if the predominant message, for example, is that to enjoy life you need to go up, then you probably need to do the opposite, to go down!
If the predominant message is you need to work harder, you probably need to do the opposite, work softer!
And so if we want to find our lover, our twin flame, our soul mate, perhaps we should look within instead of everywhere else!
We are born into a world that insists that we should live from the outside-in, which means that if we want to have something or experience something we need to find it externally and add it to what already exists within us. Whereas my life journey has brought me to a place where I now fully realise and surrender to the truth that if I want to find, experience, be the love that I am, then I need to look inside and my romantic relationship needs to begin within me. Love awaits me inside and actually the only thing that I need to do is to cease looking externally for someone to complete me and instead allow all that is not love to dissolve within me so that I might realise the love that I am.
So what do I mean by allow all that is not love to dissolve?’
This is fundamentally about shadow work. It’s about shining the light of consciousness internally so that we can reveal the aspects of ourselves or experiences that we are not fully at peace with or in acceptance of. It’s sometimes helpful to work with a trusted healer or therapist on this because it’s not always easy to see these aspects within ourselves as our minds may do a good job of concealing them in the shadows through denial or other means.
But as we have the courage to revisit our traumas with consciousness, compassion and awareness and begin to feel that which we were not able to feel fully at the time of the trauma, the energy begins to be released and transformed. And as this old energy leaves the body we begin to become more alive, we can feel the full spectrum of emotions more fully, though we don’t attach to them as much, as we observe our minds and emotional state from a Higher Self perspective. As the emotional residue, as blocks to the flow of energy are removed, we once again have access to the flow of source energy, we are connected with all of life as we move away from duality and separation to oneness and connection. As divine energy flows through us we realise more and more how ridiculous the idea is that the primary source of love could be experienced by a romantic or life partner!
What is usually alluded to as love in our current society is actually co-dependency. Generally when people think that they are in love, what they mean is that they really enjoy being around another person because of the way that they make them feel. We confuse and value these ‘positive’ feelings so much because this feeling is alien to most of us because we haven’t been taught how to feel this way about ourselves. In actual fact we have been taught that loving ourselves is to be avoided at all costs because that would be arrogant or conceited or big headed. But to love yourself in a humble, all embracing, self-accepting way is actually a significant and essential step in finding and merging with the lover within, divine union of our masculine and feminine, yin and yang complimentary opposites .
However there is such a strong pull to keep seeking love through another, partly because this is the story told over and over by the world we live in and also because love is confused with procreation. We are spiritual beings and animals and the animal aspect of us may be drawn to copulate with a member of the opposite sex in order to secure the continuation of our lineage but this has little to do with the divine essence or state of love.
This more primal behaviour and energetic pull is not be mistaken with the search for the spiritual state of being in, or just being, love. To come home to the love that we are it is imperative that we totally stop looking outside ourselves to find completion. Someone else is not going to complete us. We are and never were, only half of something or someone. We are totally complete unto ourselves, we always have been and always will be, it’s just that the world teaches us that we are not enough as we are, that we need to do something else, achieve something else or be with someone else to know peace and love, but this is a lie.
When we fall in love with ourselves we fall in love with The Creator because we are one and the same. We are simply sparks from the divine fire of consciousness. As a drop of water is contained in the ocean, so is the ocean contained in a drop of water.
If we want divine union, if we want to fully realise love then we have to stop looking outside. Maybe it is time for a period of celibacy. Maybe it is time to romance ourselves. Maybe it is time to visit those dark places within ourselves that we had desperately hoped we would never have to go because someone else was going to make us happy, when we just found that right partner, that had always been so elusive!
The good news is that in those dark places we will always find treasure! The mind just obscures the light and makes them appear to be dark but in those shadowy places we will find the keys to unlock our sovereignty and our full magnificent beauty and power. So much energy is consumed through the effort of avoidance, addiction and distracting ourselves from facing our shadows.
Our lover is and always has been waiting for us. All we need to do is stop looking outside and shine the light of our loving awareness inside. Be guided by our internal compass, allow our feelings to inform the directions we take and the decisions we make; use the sharp sword of discernment that we have left sheathed for too long and if in doubt ask ourselves ‘what would love do now?’
When we fall in love with ourselves we fall in love with the world and we only see love in all its myriad disguises and forms. And who knows when the divine timing is right we may even find another human being to share our state of love with, someone we can allow our over flowing cup of love to wash over and into.
Your lover is awaiting you within. Will you heed the call?